Here it is. Rachael in Toledo. Part II, of course. ;)
Oh, and by the way, the countdown has begun. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!!!!!!!
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
freak in. freak out.
here is my obligatory "freak out" for the week:
but in the meantime... this dang back of mine needs to stop trying to kill me.
- I have been having really bad back pain. I mean, it hurts to stand, it hurts to sit, it hurts to bend. I can feel it in my legs. It sucks. I went to the chiropractor today, and it is still killing me. I have been taking naproxen religiously for the last 3 days. And.... I am just wondering what I am going to do if/when this happens to me in Spain. I won't have the option to call up the chiropractor in a state of emergency to be seen that day. I'll have to suffer through it, I guess.
- I overdrew my account. Great. I am living at home and working 40 hours a week. How will I manage when I am living abroad, by myself, and making only 700Euro/month?! (I won't, however, have a problem working a mere 12 hours weekly. That's what I'm talking about... yaknowwhatimsayin?)
- I just generally don't know what I am doing. I don't know what my duties are going to be yet. I don't know what it's going to be like to teach high-schoolers. I don't know how to teach English (or anything for that matter).
but in the meantime... this dang back of mine needs to stop trying to kill me.
Monday, August 23, 2010
two weeks notice.
While there is still no official countdown, the time is surely flying by.
Today I told my boss that I will be leaving. I gave my 3-weeks notice. My last day will be September 10. That will give me almost 2 work-free weeks to get my things in order. Hopefully I'll have a chance to relax for a little bit before the madness begins. ....But mostly, I am anticipating the madness.
My boss was happy for me when I told her that I'd be leaving. She doesn't care that she will be shorter-staffed. She is just excited that I'm pursuing my dream. I think she gets frustrated when young people take jobs there and settle into a routine and never move up and onto better things. And, as I told so many people so many times, they didn't have to worry about me. I had my sights set on what I wanted. The timing was the tricky part. And the year of patience has definitely paid off.
The Satuday after my last day, I am going to have a going away picnic/thing. I am excited for it. I just hope people show up. haha. I'll invite everyone from work, and my family and friends (these categories are not necessarily mutually exclusive). It will be a nice time to see everybody before I go. Ah... I almost can't believe it!
I better get cracking with my preparations... I just don't know what I should be doing!
Today I told my boss that I will be leaving. I gave my 3-weeks notice. My last day will be September 10. That will give me almost 2 work-free weeks to get my things in order. Hopefully I'll have a chance to relax for a little bit before the madness begins. ....But mostly, I am anticipating the madness.
My boss was happy for me when I told her that I'd be leaving. She doesn't care that she will be shorter-staffed. She is just excited that I'm pursuing my dream. I think she gets frustrated when young people take jobs there and settle into a routine and never move up and onto better things. And, as I told so many people so many times, they didn't have to worry about me. I had my sights set on what I wanted. The timing was the tricky part. And the year of patience has definitely paid off.
The Satuday after my last day, I am going to have a going away picnic/thing. I am excited for it. I just hope people show up. haha. I'll invite everyone from work, and my family and friends (these categories are not necessarily mutually exclusive). It will be a nice time to see everybody before I go. Ah... I almost can't believe it!
I better get cracking with my preparations... I just don't know what I should be doing!
Sunday, August 8, 2010
How To Be Alone
A friend posted this video on Facebook the other day.
I like it. Not only because the poetry is cute, but because I can see myself needing to hear this advice in the near future.
So, for future reference: How To Be Alone.
...I think it's important to note here that while this video encourages being alone, it doesn't encourage withdrawal. What it means to say is, don't let the fact that you're alone stop you from going out in public. How else could you meet people, unless you go out to find some?
I like it. Not only because the poetry is cute, but because I can see myself needing to hear this advice in the near future.
So, for future reference: How To Be Alone.
...I think it's important to note here that while this video encourages being alone, it doesn't encourage withdrawal. What it means to say is, don't let the fact that you're alone stop you from going out in public. How else could you meet people, unless you go out to find some?
Saturday, July 31, 2010
The social psychology explanation
Continuing with my theme of trying to figure out what it is about Spain that I love, I have discovered yet another explanation.
The Social Psychology explanation.
This video talks about time orientation... about whether you live in the present, past, or future. It's interesting to think about.
If you have a few minutes, give it a go. The animation is awesome, if nothing else! (But I assure you, the audio is good, too.)
Leave a comment, let me know what you think!
Edit:
Ellen so graciously pointed out to me that I did not clearly link this video to what it has to do with my love of Spain. So I left these as comments, but I decided to amend them to the post. Hopefully this clears it up a little bit (though it very well may not). :)
As for my time zone, I float somewhere between "past positive" and the "present fated". Though I am capable of making future plans, I am more likely to believe that God brings people and situations into your life that you can't plan for.. and in my experiences, those have always worked out rather well. I think you just have to kind of go with the flow, and figure things out as they come.
The Social Psychology explanation.
This video talks about time orientation... about whether you live in the present, past, or future. It's interesting to think about.
If you have a few minutes, give it a go. The animation is awesome, if nothing else! (But I assure you, the audio is good, too.)
Leave a comment, let me know what you think!
Edit:
Ellen so graciously pointed out to me that I did not clearly link this video to what it has to do with my love of Spain. So I left these as comments, but I decided to amend them to the post. Hopefully this clears it up a little bit (though it very well may not). :)
What I was meaning to say, was that the part about Catholic/Protestant nations seems to be applicable to the situation. I appreciate the Spanish pace of life much more than that of America. I like siestas. I appreciate that they take their time. (Though I must say, there have been moments where I wished the Spanish would pick up the pace a little, or keep their banks open longer than 6 hours a day. haha) But on the whole, I prefer to not have my life jam-packed with nonsense things to do. I hate that it's part of our culture to be in a hurry to go nowhere.
I'm re-reading Eat Pray Love (because I am SO excited for the movie!), and there is a passage that talks about this in the Italy portion. It says:
"Generally speaking, though, Americans have an inability to relax into sheer pleasure. Ours is an entertainment-seeking nation, but not necessarily a pleasure-seeking one. Americans spend billions to keep themselves amused with everything from porn to theme parks to wars, but that's not exactly the same thing as quiet enjoyment. Americans work harder and longer and more stressful hours than anyone in the world today. But as Luca Spaghetti pointed out, we seem to like it. Alarming statistics back this observation up, showing that many Americans feel more happy and fulfilled in their offices than they do in their own homes. Of course, we all inevitably work too hard, then we get burned out and have to spend the whole weekend in our pajamas, eating cereal straight out of the box and staring at the TV in a mild coma (which is the opposite of working, yes, but not exactly the same thing as pleasure). Americans don't really know how to do nothing. This is the cause of that great sad American stereotype--the overstressed executive who goes on vacation, but who cannot relax."
The she says, "I once asked Luca Spaghetti if Italians on vacation have the same problem. He laughed so hard he almost drove his motorbike into a fountain.
'Oh, no!' he said. 'We are the masters of il bel far niente.' This is a sweet expression. Il bel far niente means 'the beauty of doing nothing.'"
Maybe that clears it up. I just meant that maybe my "time zone" is more in line with the majority of Spaniards. (Even though I find myself bouncing between about 3 time zones on a given day.) :)-
Another way to say that is that I'd rather
"work to live" than "live to work". And I don't think that is necessarily correlated with laziness or lack of ambition. It's just a desire to appreciate the simpler things in life. It is extremely possible to be a productive member of society without working more than 40 hours per week.
As for my time zone, I float somewhere between "past positive" and the "present fated". Though I am capable of making future plans, I am more likely to believe that God brings people and situations into your life that you can't plan for.. and in my experiences, those have always worked out rather well. I think you just have to kind of go with the flow, and figure things out as they come.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
grand funk railroad.
I have been in a little funk for these last two days.
Yesterday, though I wasn't exactly ill, I decided to leave work early, for the simple fact that I didn't want to be there, and I didn't feel like myself. Remember how I told you it's getting harder and harder to be at work? This is still the case. I can't really stand it anymore. Maybe it's just because I know that I won't have to deal with it much longer..... but gosh. I could leave tomorrow and be ok with that. The only problem is, my bank account wouldn't be.
I am getting super nervous about finances. I have no money in the bank (aside from my measly savings). I borrowed money from my brother a couple of weeks ago, and I still can't pay him back....despite the fact that pay day has come and gone. I am nervous because, right now, I am living with my mother, not paying rent and barely paying expenses, and I still can hardly manage. And I don't have any vision of things getting easier once I'm in Spain.
This is no new issue in my life. This is always the way things have been, since I was a child. And every time, God has provided. All I can do it be a bit more frugal... and maybe try to work some overtime (ugh, despite the fact that that actually means working).
I have spent my whole evening tonight making flowers out of royal icing, baking a cake, icing a cake, and preparing for my class tomorrow. Sorry to say it, but I think tomorrow might be the last class I attend. I am absolutely loving it.. I love learning all of this stuff! But I just don't think it is a wise use of my time or money anymore. It is getting to be expensive, no question. And it just seems to consume so much time. I am so glad that I have learned what I have already learned.. and I'll continue to make these cakes and cupcakes for people for fun... but I just can't feasibly continue. haha. My cake dreams will have to wait, at least until I return.
But man... this cake that I made for tomorrow... it's pineapple cake with cherry filling... DE-LICIOUS! And it's going to look awesome... I'm pretty sure of it.
ANYWAY. Sorry to be all blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, but sometimes you'll have that.
Now I actually am starting to feel sick.. with throat yuckiness. My brother is just getting over something, so I hope it's not the same thing! This may be karma for leaving work on Monday.. whoops!
Yesterday, though I wasn't exactly ill, I decided to leave work early, for the simple fact that I didn't want to be there, and I didn't feel like myself. Remember how I told you it's getting harder and harder to be at work? This is still the case. I can't really stand it anymore. Maybe it's just because I know that I won't have to deal with it much longer..... but gosh. I could leave tomorrow and be ok with that. The only problem is, my bank account wouldn't be.
I am getting super nervous about finances. I have no money in the bank (aside from my measly savings). I borrowed money from my brother a couple of weeks ago, and I still can't pay him back....despite the fact that pay day has come and gone. I am nervous because, right now, I am living with my mother, not paying rent and barely paying expenses, and I still can hardly manage. And I don't have any vision of things getting easier once I'm in Spain.
This is no new issue in my life. This is always the way things have been, since I was a child. And every time, God has provided. All I can do it be a bit more frugal... and maybe try to work some overtime (ugh, despite the fact that that actually means working).
I have spent my whole evening tonight making flowers out of royal icing, baking a cake, icing a cake, and preparing for my class tomorrow. Sorry to say it, but I think tomorrow might be the last class I attend. I am absolutely loving it.. I love learning all of this stuff! But I just don't think it is a wise use of my time or money anymore. It is getting to be expensive, no question. And it just seems to consume so much time. I am so glad that I have learned what I have already learned.. and I'll continue to make these cakes and cupcakes for people for fun... but I just can't feasibly continue. haha. My cake dreams will have to wait, at least until I return.
But man... this cake that I made for tomorrow... it's pineapple cake with cherry filling... DE-LICIOUS! And it's going to look awesome... I'm pretty sure of it.
ANYWAY. Sorry to be all blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, but sometimes you'll have that.
Now I actually am starting to feel sick.. with throat yuckiness. My brother is just getting over something, so I hope it's not the same thing! This may be karma for leaving work on Monday.. whoops!
Thursday, July 22, 2010
It's all coming together.
In the last few days, I have had a fair share of breakthrough moments.
I emailed Miguel, my professor from Toledo the other day to let him know that I would be back in the area, to ask him for some advice, and to find out what he knows about the town that I will be teaching in. I was ecstatic when he replied to tell me that:
1. Numancia de la Sagra is small, and I should live in Toledo city and take the bus every day. Or, he said, there are probably some people that work at the school that drive from Toledo (I hope this is the case, as the bus only leaves Toledo at 6:45 and 8:45am. WOAH. Can't miss it!)
2. He sent the bus schedule.
3. He has a friend that rents apartments in Toledo and that if I tell him what/where/how much I'm looking for he would talk to him to see what he can do for me!!
4. I can stay at the residence hall of the school until I get figured out, for 25E/day. This seems like a good deal.
...There was such a weight lifted off of me when I read this email. Seriously, joy filled my heart when he suggested that I live in Toledo. That was my place. I was glad that I would be close, but now that I will be there, I am that much more excited! It was also nice to hear that I have somebody over there who will have my back. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to rely too heavily on anybody. But the thought of going to another country with no place to live and no idea of how to find one was a little disconcerting. And all of Miguel's words were like music to my ears! (...or, like something beautiful to my eyes- because I read them, I didn't hear them.)
Secondly, I GOT MY VISA IN THE MAIL TODAY!!!!
Originally, I thought it was a letter for my mom. She is always getting certified letters for work, so I didn't really think to check the UPS envelope when I saw it on the porch. I just set it aside for her. Once she got home, she opened it, and couldn't figure out what it was. "This is for you!", she said... and immediately I knew what it was! My visa!! I was shocked, I must say. I only applied for it on July 8, which means that in EXACTLY 2 weeks, the visa had arrived to my doorstep. I find that rather amazing. All of those wait times must just be government code for "We'll get to it when we get to it, and don't bother us about it in the meantime." BUT WOOO! I could go ANY day now if I wanted! (But trust me, Sept 22 is early enough!)
Thirdly, I can clearly see that it is time for me to leave my job. It's hitting me like "senioritis" in a way. Every day it is getting harder and harder and wake up and go. I don't really feel like doing much when I'm there (let me remind you that I am filing all day. Nobody notices whether I file 100 or 1000 papers in a day.) I have begun to realize that when I leave, nobody will do my job, it will just back up. So what's the difference if it starts to back up now or in a few weeks? I am getting really sick of the way things work there, and I am just ready to be done with the whole scene. I no longer want to spend 40 hours of my week in a jail-- a place that was designed to make you feel a disconnect from the outside world. I hate the way that place is having a negative effect on my attitudes. I still haven't told my boss when I plan on leaving. I haven't even told her officially that I am going... but I am pretty sure that somebody else probably has. I tried to keep this thing under wraps, but when so many people ask me on a regular basis, "When are you going back to Spain?", I just had to tell them. Slowly but surely, every milestone that I had once held in my head about when I'd share my news has come and gone: Getting accepted, getting the visa, buying the plane ticket, deciding when my last day will be. I have chosen my day, but I don't want to share it quite yet. As long as I give them 2 weeks, it'll be okay.
While these next few weeks might seem like torture for me, I am beginning to realize that the time has definitely come to move on in life. And every step forward makes me a little more excited and hopeful of what's to come.
I emailed Miguel, my professor from Toledo the other day to let him know that I would be back in the area, to ask him for some advice, and to find out what he knows about the town that I will be teaching in. I was ecstatic when he replied to tell me that:
1. Numancia de la Sagra is small, and I should live in Toledo city and take the bus every day. Or, he said, there are probably some people that work at the school that drive from Toledo (I hope this is the case, as the bus only leaves Toledo at 6:45 and 8:45am. WOAH. Can't miss it!)
2. He sent the bus schedule.
3. He has a friend that rents apartments in Toledo and that if I tell him what/where/how much I'm looking for he would talk to him to see what he can do for me!!
4. I can stay at the residence hall of the school until I get figured out, for 25E/day. This seems like a good deal.
...There was such a weight lifted off of me when I read this email. Seriously, joy filled my heart when he suggested that I live in Toledo. That was my place. I was glad that I would be close, but now that I will be there, I am that much more excited! It was also nice to hear that I have somebody over there who will have my back. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to rely too heavily on anybody. But the thought of going to another country with no place to live and no idea of how to find one was a little disconcerting. And all of Miguel's words were like music to my ears! (...or, like something beautiful to my eyes- because I read them, I didn't hear them.)
Secondly, I GOT MY VISA IN THE MAIL TODAY!!!!
Originally, I thought it was a letter for my mom. She is always getting certified letters for work, so I didn't really think to check the UPS envelope when I saw it on the porch. I just set it aside for her. Once she got home, she opened it, and couldn't figure out what it was. "This is for you!", she said... and immediately I knew what it was! My visa!! I was shocked, I must say. I only applied for it on July 8, which means that in EXACTLY 2 weeks, the visa had arrived to my doorstep. I find that rather amazing. All of those wait times must just be government code for "We'll get to it when we get to it, and don't bother us about it in the meantime." BUT WOOO! I could go ANY day now if I wanted! (But trust me, Sept 22 is early enough!)
Thirdly, I can clearly see that it is time for me to leave my job. It's hitting me like "senioritis" in a way. Every day it is getting harder and harder and wake up and go. I don't really feel like doing much when I'm there (let me remind you that I am filing all day. Nobody notices whether I file 100 or 1000 papers in a day.) I have begun to realize that when I leave, nobody will do my job, it will just back up. So what's the difference if it starts to back up now or in a few weeks? I am getting really sick of the way things work there, and I am just ready to be done with the whole scene. I no longer want to spend 40 hours of my week in a jail-- a place that was designed to make you feel a disconnect from the outside world. I hate the way that place is having a negative effect on my attitudes. I still haven't told my boss when I plan on leaving. I haven't even told her officially that I am going... but I am pretty sure that somebody else probably has. I tried to keep this thing under wraps, but when so many people ask me on a regular basis, "When are you going back to Spain?", I just had to tell them. Slowly but surely, every milestone that I had once held in my head about when I'd share my news has come and gone: Getting accepted, getting the visa, buying the plane ticket, deciding when my last day will be. I have chosen my day, but I don't want to share it quite yet. As long as I give them 2 weeks, it'll be okay.
While these next few weeks might seem like torture for me, I am beginning to realize that the time has definitely come to move on in life. And every step forward makes me a little more excited and hopeful of what's to come.
Monday, July 12, 2010
So... it has been awhile.
Things have been so busy, and so good lately!
So far, the month of July has been kind of crazy! It all started with Caitlin and Chris' wedding. It was such a good time. It was probably the most beautiful wedding I've been to. It was such a celebration of them. I'm so happy for them! They are leaving for Russia in a couple of weeks! So crazy!
After the wedding, Alice came to visit in Pittsburgh. That was fun, too. I feel the pressure when people come to Pittsburgh... like I have to pick the best things to do. haha. That was hard, since it was July 4 weekend and everything was closed... but we managed to have a pretty good time. :) We did pretty much everything that we like to do. haha.
I had to go to NYC last week to apply for my visa. Thank God for the MegaBus!!! I was looking at airfare, and thinking about driving, when it dawned on me that I should look into the megabus. Instead of paying $300 for a flight, or who-knows-how-much in gas and tolls, I found tickets on the bus for $30 ROUNDTRIP! That is SO amazing! And, it makes me wonder why I don't do that more often! haha. The bus ride was great, too. They have outlets and wifi, which makes the 8-hour trip go by so much faster. I took a few dvds from the redbox and I was golden. We got into NYC around midnight, stayed in a hotel for a night, (which was only 4 blocks away from the bus stop!!), and then went to the appointment at 10am. By 4:00pm we were back on the bus on our way home. It was such a short little trip, but I am SO glad that all of that is over with! I have been stressing, and re-stressing, and preparing visa documents for as long as I can remember! Thank God it is all over! They were so nice at the consulate too. I wasn't sure what to expect. But the guy who interviewed me was probably in his 20s, from Pamplona, and was just really friendly. So that was definitely helpful! He said I should get it by the beginning of August!
Speaking of Spain.. they won the world cup!! Not that I am particularly into soccer.. but I am happy for them! I am especially happy that StudentUniverse.com is having a sale to honor their win by giving $50 off any flight to Spain if you book in the next day. This means that my $400 flight will now be $350. How convenient!! That just means I have to actually commit to buying this baby!
Aside from that...
Cake class is awesome. I am slowly but surely becoming the Cake Boss. Not only because my cakes are getting awesomer and awesomer. Not only because the teacher is telling me that I am doing great. But I am also copping the same narcissistic, OCD attitude that the real Cake Boss possess. This could be dangerous! Maybe from now on I should emulate Ace of Cakes. That show is way better anyway. I want to be Duff's best friend.
I have also been teaching English one day a week. It is going ok. I mean, I feel sort of incompetent sometimes. Mostly due to the fact that the woman I teach is older than I am, and I don't really know what kind of things she really wants to learn. I don't want to be insulting by giving her words and exercises that are too kiddish, but I don't want to make it too difficult either. Doing this has definitely helped me to realize that I need to develop some skills for this next year!
Ummmmmm.. that's pretty much all I have for now!
Things have been so busy, and so good lately!
So far, the month of July has been kind of crazy! It all started with Caitlin and Chris' wedding. It was such a good time. It was probably the most beautiful wedding I've been to. It was such a celebration of them. I'm so happy for them! They are leaving for Russia in a couple of weeks! So crazy!
After the wedding, Alice came to visit in Pittsburgh. That was fun, too. I feel the pressure when people come to Pittsburgh... like I have to pick the best things to do. haha. That was hard, since it was July 4 weekend and everything was closed... but we managed to have a pretty good time. :) We did pretty much everything that we like to do. haha.
I had to go to NYC last week to apply for my visa. Thank God for the MegaBus!!! I was looking at airfare, and thinking about driving, when it dawned on me that I should look into the megabus. Instead of paying $300 for a flight, or who-knows-how-much in gas and tolls, I found tickets on the bus for $30 ROUNDTRIP! That is SO amazing! And, it makes me wonder why I don't do that more often! haha. The bus ride was great, too. They have outlets and wifi, which makes the 8-hour trip go by so much faster. I took a few dvds from the redbox and I was golden. We got into NYC around midnight, stayed in a hotel for a night, (which was only 4 blocks away from the bus stop!!), and then went to the appointment at 10am. By 4:00pm we were back on the bus on our way home. It was such a short little trip, but I am SO glad that all of that is over with! I have been stressing, and re-stressing, and preparing visa documents for as long as I can remember! Thank God it is all over! They were so nice at the consulate too. I wasn't sure what to expect. But the guy who interviewed me was probably in his 20s, from Pamplona, and was just really friendly. So that was definitely helpful! He said I should get it by the beginning of August!
Speaking of Spain.. they won the world cup!! Not that I am particularly into soccer.. but I am happy for them! I am especially happy that StudentUniverse.com is having a sale to honor their win by giving $50 off any flight to Spain if you book in the next day. This means that my $400 flight will now be $350. How convenient!! That just means I have to actually commit to buying this baby!
Aside from that...
Cake class is awesome. I am slowly but surely becoming the Cake Boss. Not only because my cakes are getting awesomer and awesomer. Not only because the teacher is telling me that I am doing great. But I am also copping the same narcissistic, OCD attitude that the real Cake Boss possess. This could be dangerous! Maybe from now on I should emulate Ace of Cakes. That show is way better anyway. I want to be Duff's best friend.
I have also been teaching English one day a week. It is going ok. I mean, I feel sort of incompetent sometimes. Mostly due to the fact that the woman I teach is older than I am, and I don't really know what kind of things she really wants to learn. I don't want to be insulting by giving her words and exercises that are too kiddish, but I don't want to make it too difficult either. Doing this has definitely helped me to realize that I need to develop some skills for this next year!
Ummmmmm.. that's pretty much all I have for now!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
a love explained
What is it about Spain that draws me in? For years I have pondered this question, and for years the answer has eluded me. I wish I could tell you that I have finally figured out—that I have pinpointed what it is that enchants me—but alas, I have not. However, this entry will be my best effort, once again, to find an answer. (Please forgive me if it appears that I am overly-romanticizing this.)
The Physical Explanation.
Spain is beautiful. It is different. It is sunny and warm. The benefits of vitamin D can’t be ignored. Neither can the means of transportation. No driving = no road rage. Transportation becomes a walk in the park, a stroll through the city. There is something so liberating about that. Instead of being isolated in my car, I am surrounded by people.
The Challenge.
Living in Spain requires a different set of tools. It requires me to be an observer and a listener. It requires a new tongue. Being alone requires me to ask others for help. It requires that I find a new way of doing everyday things. In the same way that “quitting Walmart” forced me to be creative in finding the items that I needed (which really wasn’t that hard), I will have to figure out the same things over there. I need toothpaste--do I go to the supermercado or the farmacia? I’ll need to learn a whole new estilo de vida.
The Opportunity.
When I am in Spain, I feel like the world is my oyster. I can get anywhere. Travel is cheap, and it is good. I have had, and will have the opportunity to see many places, meet many people, and do many things that I never dreamed about. And, of course, I will also get to do many of the things that I have dreamed about. I will learn a lot of new things, and I will finally dominar el español!
The New Me.
Without a doubt, I have come back changed after each visit to Spain. Whether we look at the progression of my fluency in Spanish, or the confidence I have in myself, or the guts and bravery that I acquire, it is clear that I am continuously making forward progress. I like the way I am perceived there. People want to talk to me, to hear my story. They want to know why I am there. I must be pretty adventurous if I move to the other side of the world. I like that people already assume this about me. While I am in the United States, I spend a lot of time doing....nothing. But in Spain, my down time is spent exploring the town, reading in the plazas, having tea in small cafes. Any of these things beat watching TV, any day.
The Calling.
I’m not sure why God has given me such a love for this place, but I definitely count all of my experiences there as blessings. My experiences in the past have been incredible, and I am absolutely looking forward to whatever God has in store for me this time around. Obviously, I have been thinking about Spain and the possibility of living there for a very long time. I always used to question whether it was God's will that I live there. Then I stopped questioning it. I decided that if it was meant to be, it would happen. I know that God has given me a passion for this place, and if he continues to lead me there, I will go. The tricky part will be figuring out what it all means. All I can do is live my life in a way that is pleasing to Him. The rest will fall into place.
The Physical Explanation.
Spain is beautiful. It is different. It is sunny and warm. The benefits of vitamin D can’t be ignored. Neither can the means of transportation. No driving = no road rage. Transportation becomes a walk in the park, a stroll through the city. There is something so liberating about that. Instead of being isolated in my car, I am surrounded by people.
The Challenge.
Living in Spain requires a different set of tools. It requires me to be an observer and a listener. It requires a new tongue. Being alone requires me to ask others for help. It requires that I find a new way of doing everyday things. In the same way that “quitting Walmart” forced me to be creative in finding the items that I needed (which really wasn’t that hard), I will have to figure out the same things over there. I need toothpaste--do I go to the supermercado or the farmacia? I’ll need to learn a whole new estilo de vida.
The Opportunity.
When I am in Spain, I feel like the world is my oyster. I can get anywhere. Travel is cheap, and it is good. I have had, and will have the opportunity to see many places, meet many people, and do many things that I never dreamed about. And, of course, I will also get to do many of the things that I have dreamed about. I will learn a lot of new things, and I will finally dominar el español!
The New Me.
Without a doubt, I have come back changed after each visit to Spain. Whether we look at the progression of my fluency in Spanish, or the confidence I have in myself, or the guts and bravery that I acquire, it is clear that I am continuously making forward progress. I like the way I am perceived there. People want to talk to me, to hear my story. They want to know why I am there. I must be pretty adventurous if I move to the other side of the world. I like that people already assume this about me. While I am in the United States, I spend a lot of time doing....nothing. But in Spain, my down time is spent exploring the town, reading in the plazas, having tea in small cafes. Any of these things beat watching TV, any day.
The Calling.
I’m not sure why God has given me such a love for this place, but I definitely count all of my experiences there as blessings. My experiences in the past have been incredible, and I am absolutely looking forward to whatever God has in store for me this time around. Obviously, I have been thinking about Spain and the possibility of living there for a very long time. I always used to question whether it was God's will that I live there. Then I stopped questioning it. I decided that if it was meant to be, it would happen. I know that God has given me a passion for this place, and if he continues to lead me there, I will go. The tricky part will be figuring out what it all means. All I can do is live my life in a way that is pleasing to Him. The rest will fall into place.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
panic!
FREAK OUT MOMENT!!
I GOT MY PLACEMENT!! I will be in Numancia de la Sagra, in the province of Toledo. I will be half an hour outside of Madrid, half an hour outside of Toledo (city). WHAAAT! Awesome. Hoping the small town is awesome though!
Ok. So, I think I will be with middle-high schoolers. This could be AWESOME. Could be a challenge. But oh snap! This is starting to become so REAL!
I am having a moment here. It's 1 am, and I have nobody to talk to!! haha
Also, I have been having visa nightmares for the last couple of days. Now that I have my letter, I am hoping that I can call the consulate and get an appointment earlier than August 4, which was the earliest that I could get online (and that is NOT GOOD!). I saw one tonight that was for Thursday morning, but it would cost $300 to fly so soon. Not so sure. I need to call!
AHHHHH. I am freaking out.
My tummy is full of mariposas.
Prayers still are, and always will be welcome!
I GOT MY PLACEMENT!! I will be in Numancia de la Sagra, in the province of Toledo. I will be half an hour outside of Madrid, half an hour outside of Toledo (city). WHAAAT! Awesome. Hoping the small town is awesome though!
Ok. So, I think I will be with middle-high schoolers. This could be AWESOME. Could be a challenge. But oh snap! This is starting to become so REAL!
I am having a moment here. It's 1 am, and I have nobody to talk to!! haha
Also, I have been having visa nightmares for the last couple of days. Now that I have my letter, I am hoping that I can call the consulate and get an appointment earlier than August 4, which was the earliest that I could get online (and that is NOT GOOD!). I saw one tonight that was for Thursday morning, but it would cost $300 to fly so soon. Not so sure. I need to call!
AHHHHH. I am freaking out.
My tummy is full of mariposas.
Prayers still are, and always will be welcome!
Thursday, June 17, 2010
the cake boss
So I have started taking a cake decorating class.
So far, it's awesome.
Here is my first cake. I only iced the cake at class. The rest I did at home. And the house was an attempt to make an image transfer, but it was unsuccessful. For some reason, the teacher couldn't get the piping to come off of the parchment. Anyway, we made it work. Sort of.
I haven't had a writing tutorial yet, so this is all my best interpretation of what I thought I should do. And also, I haven't mastered the shell border yet. But I promise you it will get better!
So here it is:
This cake is in celebration of my pap coming home from the hospital.. after a few weeks of hospitalization/nursing home/hospitalization/rehab. Glad he's back!
Sorry for the bad photo. I had to use my phone because I forgot my camera. But I will continue to document my progress for the next couple of weeks!
So far, it's awesome.
Here is my first cake. I only iced the cake at class. The rest I did at home. And the house was an attempt to make an image transfer, but it was unsuccessful. For some reason, the teacher couldn't get the piping to come off of the parchment. Anyway, we made it work. Sort of.
I haven't had a writing tutorial yet, so this is all my best interpretation of what I thought I should do. And also, I haven't mastered the shell border yet. But I promise you it will get better!
So here it is:
This cake is in celebration of my pap coming home from the hospital.. after a few weeks of hospitalization/nursing home/hospitalization/rehab. Glad he's back!
Sorry for the bad photo. I had to use my phone because I forgot my camera. But I will continue to document my progress for the next couple of weeks!
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
life's mysteries
So here is one of life's many mysteries.
Why is it that everything always happens at once?
I mean, I spent months and months being bored at home, with nothing to do, and nobody to talk to.
Then, all of the sudden, everything that I wanted to do falls into place, and now I am busier than heck!
Who knows. Might as well enjoy it now!
Why is it that everything always happens at once?
I mean, I spent months and months being bored at home, with nothing to do, and nobody to talk to.
Then, all of the sudden, everything that I wanted to do falls into place, and now I am busier than heck!
Who knows. Might as well enjoy it now!
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Operation: Zacchaeus
"But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, 'Look Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount." -Luke 19:8So, I have been wanting to purge my possessions for a long time. And now seems like the perfect time to do it. (Or, you know, maybe months or years ago would have been good too...)
I have all of these college text books that I don't really want or need. And since it has been a while, they are not really worth anything. I've had them listed on half.com for a while, with no luck. So, I scrounged the internet looking for some organization that may find use for them. I stumbled upon an organization in Pittsburgh called Book 'Em. It's an organization that accepts book donations and then receives requests from prison inmates to give them materials that they want to read, whether for educational/vocational purposes, or mere enjoyment.
After reading about the program, I wasn't really sure if they would find use for my text books. But I figured it was worth sending them an email to find out. They told me that they could definitely use them though! So, next Sunday, I am going to take a box full of textbooks, etc. that I no longer need or want. Liberation.
I am going to get rid of most of my CDs. Now, with the invention of iTunes and backup hard drives, I see little use for the physical discs. I am thinking of asking my library if they could use them (as I scanned their CD wall today, and found it rather pitiful). If not, I am just going to take the box to The Exchange or some used music store. I don't think I'll get too much money for them, but the act of letting them all go will be cathartic. I am really trying to simplify my life here. haha
I need to go through my clothes and get rid of anything I don't want/need/wear anymore.
I need to sell some electronic equipment that has been lying around with no use. (dvd players, alarm clocks, etc.)
I need to get rid of a bunch of VHS tapes, maybe some DVDs.
It is difficult to do this though. Not so much because of the fact that I'll be parting with this stuff.... but mostly because there is so much of it, that I don't really want to go through it all. haha. Pitiful.
I remember when I was in Spain for the semester, I thought to myself how little I really needed there. Everything that I needed for 4 months of my life was able to be packed into 2 suitcases, and even then, I surely brought home things that I didn't really need. I thought, "If I can go 4 months without thinking about any of my stuff, I surely don't need it." But when I came back, I never did anything about it.
So I suppose now is as good a time as ever. I'll get rid of it before I go. I won't feel weighed down by it. And when I come home, I'll have a fresh start.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
my great awakening
(Disclaimer: I have had a lot of thoughts floating around in my head recently. After reading this post, you will quickly realize how out of practice I am at writing. A year away from school work has done me no good. Nonetheless, I feel I need to share these ideas, and more importantly, try to work through them in a cohesive fashion. Hopefully I can manage to carry a train of thought.)
As my friend Ellen recently mentioned in her blog (back in April... when I began writing this), traveling is always a good time for self reflection. I think there is something so helpful about being removed from your everyday life that allows you to look at your situation more objectively. So, during my trip to Vegas, (as much as a contradiction as this may seem), I was contemplating life, religion, and politics, and wondering what it means to appropriately blend the three.
I couldn't have done this without the help of my newest hero, Jim Wallis. Any of you Geneva grads may recognize the name from Poli Sci, as a few of his articles were required reading. But let me tell you, what was required was definitely not enough. I have been reading through his book "The Great Awakening", which I fittingly purchased in D.C. in March. The book talks about politics, and how our current system is failing to address many of the most important issues in our society, and about the responsibility of the people, (especially Christians, and especially young people) to hold the government and other institutions responsible for pursuing the common good.
Now, before I jump into a nonsensical ramble and fail to articulate the importance of this message, I want to encourage you all to find this book and read it. And if you can't find it, just let me know. I will mail it to you, or bring it to you, or read it to you over the phone. But the bottom line is, this book needs to change the way we think about politics, about the possibilities of what our society could look like, about what it means to live out our Christian beliefs, etc. Okay, so maybe this book isn't the epitome what changes need to be made, but it definitely encourages critical thinking that is based on the message of the gospel.
And I warn you: this post is going to be long.
At the fundamental basis of this book, Wallis states that neither political party in America has all the answers. The Republican party has long taken on the image of being the evangelical, Chrisitian party, but it's platform seems to miss many of the critical teachings of the gospel (ie. caring for the poor, being good stewards of God's creation, treating all humans with equal respect). While the Democrats may seem to have more compassion for the poor, they tend to neglect the need for common morals and values. What we need are people who are more loyal to the gospel than they are to either party. It can't be about getting into office, or keeping any one party in power. It has to be about the greater good. Our political system feels so ineffective because politicians have stopped caring about the common good. They are more concerned about who is "right", or who wins votes, or who will pay them the most to take a particular stand on an issue. I'm actually kind of sad that there aren't more independent candidates. I want somebody to run on the Gospel ticket. I want a leader than can prayerfully interpret the gospel to today's biggest issues. I want that to be their main concern, without worrying about their funding or the poll results. I want them to institute policies that encourage the building and maintenance of families, that help support people who cannot support themselves, that respect God's creation.
It's kind of sad, but that seems like a dream, doesn't it? The system is too corrupt to produce those kinds of leaders, and honestly, I think a majority of the country is just too lazy to really engage. Most people just vote straight down the ticket, without considering the intentions of the candidates. I know I have, especially for local government, but maybe that's the kind of government that is most important to pay attention to. Maybe that is where we have to start to really effect any kind of change.
My engagement with politics goes in cycles. At times I become extremely engaged. I read about the issues and want to fix them. I get passionate, I develop arguments. And then, after getting all worked up, I often find myself discouraged by people who argue without knowing the facts, who get their information from election commercials. I get frustrated and begin to feel like things will never change. I become apathetic and stop reading up on the issues. I stop caring. And then, after not caring for a while, some issue will really light my fire, and it begins all over again. Always with the same result. Perhaps my passive-agressive, "peacemaker" personality sets me up for failure in the world of politics, which, at its core is defined by conflict and debate. All I really want is to pursue the common good-- not the good of banks, or big business, or estate taxes, but the good of the single mothers, the immigrants, the unemployed. That means that, more often than not, democratic policies appeal to me more than republican ones. I just hope that I don't become too enamored with one party. Neither has the answers.
When I registered to vote at 18, I registered as a Republican. I was a senior at a private Christian school, and all my life, I had been lead to believe that Jesus was for the Republicans. During my college years, I began to question that association. I began thinking more critically, and noticed a disconnect between the gospel's teachings and the Right's policies. I was frustrated that approximately 90% of the campus was voting Republican, and probably 90% of that 90% hadn't really thought through any issues. They were voting on a single issue-- abortion. I changed my party to Democrat. But after reading this book, I am tempted to change to Independent. Not that being a registered Democrat means that I have to vote Democrat all the time, but I just want to remind myself to think through the issues before I vote a certain way.
Don't get me wrong, abortion is horrible. And I definitely disagree with it. But when did it become the most important issue? If we are going to outlaw abortion, can we please try to do more to help those women who find themselves in the horrible position of having to decide whether to give the baby up or trying raising it without being sure of how she will be able to feed it, clothe it, and provide shelter for it? How can we be against abortions, and then force women to raise their babies in poverty? How can we be against abortions, and at the same time be against teaching kids the importance of safe sex and contraception? Even though Republicans are so adamantly against abortions, the numbers actually increased during Bush's term. What does that mean? That the social programs during the Clinton administration must have done something to help keep the numbers down, and maybe we can learn something from that. Outlawing something doesn't necessarily mean it will fix the problem. (Prohibition, anyone?) Abortion can't be a singled out issue. It can't be the only thing that decides our vote. We need people of all parties and beliefs and to work together to develop realistic solutions to discourage abortions and help eliminate the need for them. (And my jaded half realizes that bipartisanship is just a dream.)
...
We all know that God has a sense of humor, right? Have you ever had a moment of cosmic hilarity, when you know that God has put you in a situation on purpose? In those moments, I can just feel God chuckling, and I feel good because I am quick enough to pick up on the joke.
In the midst of all of these issues swirling around my head, I decided that I need to start going to church. There is a Presbyterian church a few blocks away, so I went one Sunday. The pastor was talking about Carrying the Cross, and how being a Christian needs to be a risk (though I get the feeling he was talking more about participating in church functions and volunteering your time/money/etc to the church, rather than my own current thoughts about what it means for Christianity to be risky). The average age of the congregation, I think, was about 72. Not necessarily the most progressive demographic. Anyway, he asked a few questions, "are you here because you were raised in a Christian household?" "are you here because you have gone to church your whole life?" "are you here because America is a Christian nation, and going to church is what you do on a Sunday?" ... answers were silent, but for the last question, an old man yelled.. "WELL, IT SHOULD BE!"
Unfortunately, I think I have to disagree.
Just as neither party can be a Christian party, America cannot be a Christian nation. Say what you will about the founding fathers' religious beliefs, but they worked the Separation of Church and State in there for a reason. It would simply be unrealistic for a country to be able to live out Christ's teachings the way an individual can (granted, no individual can either, but we can strive for it.) Example: War and Peace. We are told to love our neighbors, to turn the other cheek, to pray for our enemies, that revenge is the Lord's. On an individual level, these are much easier to work out (though they are still difficult to do). On a national level, it seems much less probable to occur. Here comes the debate about just war theory, which I am not even going to touch. (Though, believe me, in my opinion there have been very few "just wars".)
The government is in place to help society function on civil level. The church is (or should be) majorly concerned with the spiritual well-being of the people, including showing Christ's example of love to those who need it most. I realize that all of this is debatable, but I believe that the church and government need to work in a way to support the areas where the other may be lacking. A church may not have all of the necessary resources, and the government doesn't have the ability to offer emotional and spiritual support the way the church can. All of these things are necessary.
Needless to say, all of this has inspired a worldview crisis within me. While I feel immense passion for living the gospel of Christ, loving the unloved, and serving others, I realize that my lifestyle does not appropriately reflect that. I know what I have to do. I need to find a church, build a community. I need to get involved. I need to see the needs of my community first hand, understand how things work, and advocate on its behalf. But it's just so hard to dive in.
I have to admit that I cried at the end of this book. Partially, I think, out of hope, and partially for not knowing where to begin with the whole politics thing. It's really a bewildering feeling to be so passionate about something while feeling so helpless at the same time.
In the afterword, Jim Wallis says:
"Ask where your gifts intersect with the groaning needs of the world-- right there is your vocation. The antidote to cynicism is not optimism, but action. And action is finally born out of hope. Try to remember that. The key is to believe that the world can be changed, because it is only that belief that ever changes the world."
I just found that quote so inspiring. I guess I can't single-handedly correct the political atmosphere of the country, but I can be a diligent, loving citizen. I can use my gifts well, and continue to be involved, instead of giving up when I become overwhelmed with it all. I need to have hope in Christ, not in a particular candidate. I need to let my faith dictate my actions.
But this will take a lot of work.
(After proof-reading this, I realize that it may all sound a little disconnected and sporadic. But as I said in my disclaimer, I'm out of practice with writing... and I am piecing together little bits that I wrote at different times over the last month. So if there is anything in particular that doesn't make sense, or that you want to discuss, let me know. I would so much rather hear your opinions than have you discard all of my ramblings. Clearly I am still trying to work through this stuff, and any input you have would definitely be appreciated.)
God Bless!
As my friend Ellen recently mentioned in her blog (back in April... when I began writing this), traveling is always a good time for self reflection. I think there is something so helpful about being removed from your everyday life that allows you to look at your situation more objectively. So, during my trip to Vegas, (as much as a contradiction as this may seem), I was contemplating life, religion, and politics, and wondering what it means to appropriately blend the three.
I couldn't have done this without the help of my newest hero, Jim Wallis. Any of you Geneva grads may recognize the name from Poli Sci, as a few of his articles were required reading. But let me tell you, what was required was definitely not enough. I have been reading through his book "The Great Awakening", which I fittingly purchased in D.C. in March. The book talks about politics, and how our current system is failing to address many of the most important issues in our society, and about the responsibility of the people, (especially Christians, and especially young people) to hold the government and other institutions responsible for pursuing the common good.
Now, before I jump into a nonsensical ramble and fail to articulate the importance of this message, I want to encourage you all to find this book and read it. And if you can't find it, just let me know. I will mail it to you, or bring it to you, or read it to you over the phone. But the bottom line is, this book needs to change the way we think about politics, about the possibilities of what our society could look like, about what it means to live out our Christian beliefs, etc. Okay, so maybe this book isn't the epitome what changes need to be made, but it definitely encourages critical thinking that is based on the message of the gospel.
And I warn you: this post is going to be long.
At the fundamental basis of this book, Wallis states that neither political party in America has all the answers. The Republican party has long taken on the image of being the evangelical, Chrisitian party, but it's platform seems to miss many of the critical teachings of the gospel (ie. caring for the poor, being good stewards of God's creation, treating all humans with equal respect). While the Democrats may seem to have more compassion for the poor, they tend to neglect the need for common morals and values. What we need are people who are more loyal to the gospel than they are to either party. It can't be about getting into office, or keeping any one party in power. It has to be about the greater good. Our political system feels so ineffective because politicians have stopped caring about the common good. They are more concerned about who is "right", or who wins votes, or who will pay them the most to take a particular stand on an issue. I'm actually kind of sad that there aren't more independent candidates. I want somebody to run on the Gospel ticket. I want a leader than can prayerfully interpret the gospel to today's biggest issues. I want that to be their main concern, without worrying about their funding or the poll results. I want them to institute policies that encourage the building and maintenance of families, that help support people who cannot support themselves, that respect God's creation.
It's kind of sad, but that seems like a dream, doesn't it? The system is too corrupt to produce those kinds of leaders, and honestly, I think a majority of the country is just too lazy to really engage. Most people just vote straight down the ticket, without considering the intentions of the candidates. I know I have, especially for local government, but maybe that's the kind of government that is most important to pay attention to. Maybe that is where we have to start to really effect any kind of change.
My engagement with politics goes in cycles. At times I become extremely engaged. I read about the issues and want to fix them. I get passionate, I develop arguments. And then, after getting all worked up, I often find myself discouraged by people who argue without knowing the facts, who get their information from election commercials. I get frustrated and begin to feel like things will never change. I become apathetic and stop reading up on the issues. I stop caring. And then, after not caring for a while, some issue will really light my fire, and it begins all over again. Always with the same result. Perhaps my passive-agressive, "peacemaker" personality sets me up for failure in the world of politics, which, at its core is defined by conflict and debate. All I really want is to pursue the common good-- not the good of banks, or big business, or estate taxes, but the good of the single mothers, the immigrants, the unemployed. That means that, more often than not, democratic policies appeal to me more than republican ones. I just hope that I don't become too enamored with one party. Neither has the answers.
When I registered to vote at 18, I registered as a Republican. I was a senior at a private Christian school, and all my life, I had been lead to believe that Jesus was for the Republicans. During my college years, I began to question that association. I began thinking more critically, and noticed a disconnect between the gospel's teachings and the Right's policies. I was frustrated that approximately 90% of the campus was voting Republican, and probably 90% of that 90% hadn't really thought through any issues. They were voting on a single issue-- abortion. I changed my party to Democrat. But after reading this book, I am tempted to change to Independent. Not that being a registered Democrat means that I have to vote Democrat all the time, but I just want to remind myself to think through the issues before I vote a certain way.
Don't get me wrong, abortion is horrible. And I definitely disagree with it. But when did it become the most important issue? If we are going to outlaw abortion, can we please try to do more to help those women who find themselves in the horrible position of having to decide whether to give the baby up or trying raising it without being sure of how she will be able to feed it, clothe it, and provide shelter for it? How can we be against abortions, and then force women to raise their babies in poverty? How can we be against abortions, and at the same time be against teaching kids the importance of safe sex and contraception? Even though Republicans are so adamantly against abortions, the numbers actually increased during Bush's term. What does that mean? That the social programs during the Clinton administration must have done something to help keep the numbers down, and maybe we can learn something from that. Outlawing something doesn't necessarily mean it will fix the problem. (Prohibition, anyone?) Abortion can't be a singled out issue. It can't be the only thing that decides our vote. We need people of all parties and beliefs and to work together to develop realistic solutions to discourage abortions and help eliminate the need for them. (And my jaded half realizes that bipartisanship is just a dream.)
...
We all know that God has a sense of humor, right? Have you ever had a moment of cosmic hilarity, when you know that God has put you in a situation on purpose? In those moments, I can just feel God chuckling, and I feel good because I am quick enough to pick up on the joke.
In the midst of all of these issues swirling around my head, I decided that I need to start going to church. There is a Presbyterian church a few blocks away, so I went one Sunday. The pastor was talking about Carrying the Cross, and how being a Christian needs to be a risk (though I get the feeling he was talking more about participating in church functions and volunteering your time/money/etc to the church, rather than my own current thoughts about what it means for Christianity to be risky). The average age of the congregation, I think, was about 72. Not necessarily the most progressive demographic. Anyway, he asked a few questions, "are you here because you were raised in a Christian household?" "are you here because you have gone to church your whole life?" "are you here because America is a Christian nation, and going to church is what you do on a Sunday?" ... answers were silent, but for the last question, an old man yelled.. "WELL, IT SHOULD BE!"
Unfortunately, I think I have to disagree.
Just as neither party can be a Christian party, America cannot be a Christian nation. Say what you will about the founding fathers' religious beliefs, but they worked the Separation of Church and State in there for a reason. It would simply be unrealistic for a country to be able to live out Christ's teachings the way an individual can (granted, no individual can either, but we can strive for it.) Example: War and Peace. We are told to love our neighbors, to turn the other cheek, to pray for our enemies, that revenge is the Lord's. On an individual level, these are much easier to work out (though they are still difficult to do). On a national level, it seems much less probable to occur. Here comes the debate about just war theory, which I am not even going to touch. (Though, believe me, in my opinion there have been very few "just wars".)
The government is in place to help society function on civil level. The church is (or should be) majorly concerned with the spiritual well-being of the people, including showing Christ's example of love to those who need it most. I realize that all of this is debatable, but I believe that the church and government need to work in a way to support the areas where the other may be lacking. A church may not have all of the necessary resources, and the government doesn't have the ability to offer emotional and spiritual support the way the church can. All of these things are necessary.
Needless to say, all of this has inspired a worldview crisis within me. While I feel immense passion for living the gospel of Christ, loving the unloved, and serving others, I realize that my lifestyle does not appropriately reflect that. I know what I have to do. I need to find a church, build a community. I need to get involved. I need to see the needs of my community first hand, understand how things work, and advocate on its behalf. But it's just so hard to dive in.
I have to admit that I cried at the end of this book. Partially, I think, out of hope, and partially for not knowing where to begin with the whole politics thing. It's really a bewildering feeling to be so passionate about something while feeling so helpless at the same time.
In the afterword, Jim Wallis says:
"Ask where your gifts intersect with the groaning needs of the world-- right there is your vocation. The antidote to cynicism is not optimism, but action. And action is finally born out of hope. Try to remember that. The key is to believe that the world can be changed, because it is only that belief that ever changes the world."
I just found that quote so inspiring. I guess I can't single-handedly correct the political atmosphere of the country, but I can be a diligent, loving citizen. I can use my gifts well, and continue to be involved, instead of giving up when I become overwhelmed with it all. I need to have hope in Christ, not in a particular candidate. I need to let my faith dictate my actions.
But this will take a lot of work.
(After proof-reading this, I realize that it may all sound a little disconnected and sporadic. But as I said in my disclaimer, I'm out of practice with writing... and I am piecing together little bits that I wrote at different times over the last month. So if there is anything in particular that doesn't make sense, or that you want to discuss, let me know. I would so much rather hear your opinions than have you discard all of my ramblings. Clearly I am still trying to work through this stuff, and any input you have would definitely be appreciated.)
God Bless!
Thursday, May 27, 2010
may the horse be with you...
Today, for the first time in a very, very long time, I listened to Relient K.
This is the music of my high school years. Maybe a little bit of my college years as well, but mostly high school. And it's great. I mean, my musical tastes have obviously evolved.... But I just love how music has the ability to take you back to a certain time and place. I can clearly remember the days of riding around in cars, listening to all of this music, because there was nothing else to do in high school. I remember listening to all of these tunes on my portable cd player during my long bus rides to and from school. I remember going to all of those Relient K shows, and meeting the band a million times, and thinking it was the coolest thing that would ever happen to me. ...Oh, but look at me now! haha.
Don't even get me started on the flashbulb memories I have of "Hands Down" by Dashboard Confessional. Good times.
Oh, and Ps. I am still in love with Relient K's wittiness and wordsmithery. All of this may have re-inspired the crush I once had on Matt T. haha
This is the music of my high school years. Maybe a little bit of my college years as well, but mostly high school. And it's great. I mean, my musical tastes have obviously evolved.... But I just love how music has the ability to take you back to a certain time and place. I can clearly remember the days of riding around in cars, listening to all of this music, because there was nothing else to do in high school. I remember listening to all of these tunes on my portable cd player during my long bus rides to and from school. I remember going to all of those Relient K shows, and meeting the band a million times, and thinking it was the coolest thing that would ever happen to me. ...Oh, but look at me now! haha.
Don't even get me started on the flashbulb memories I have of "Hands Down" by Dashboard Confessional. Good times.
Oh, and Ps. I am still in love with Relient K's wittiness and wordsmithery. All of this may have re-inspired the crush I once had on Matt T. haha
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
to everything (turn, turn, turn) there is a season
I promise that I attempt to update sometimes, but it just never actually gets published. I am working on a masterpiece, and I still haven't finished it. It will be long, but it will be about my newest favorite subject, religion and politics, and my newest hero, Jim Wallis.
Anyway.. on a totally unrelated note.
My season of waiting has come to an end!
Just as I was beginning to accept my fate as having to default to my Plan B, or maybe even my Plan C, I got the best news ever. I will be heading to Spain again this fall. For a school year. To teach English in a public school. I am thrilled.
Annnnd....I am so incredibly nervous. I need to go dig out some old journals, because every time I am about to leave for Spain I get overcome with anxiety. The only thing is, every time I have gone, it has turned out wonderfully. This has become my cycle.
I definitely have high expectations for this next year. But I am not naiive. I know that it will come with its fair share of trials and its days filled with loneliness and feeling like I am misunderstood or incapable of expressing myself. All of those, unfortunately, have been familiar feelings before. And I am sure they will be familiar again. But all I know is this.... whether this turns out to be the best experience ever, or the most trying experience ever, good things will come. All of the biggest risks that I have taken have led to the biggest rewards. And I'm not sure I've ever taken a risk of such proportions.
The only thing I know so far about this whole ordeal is that I will be in Castilla la Mancha, the province where Toledo is located. I don't know what city I will be in yet, but I am praying that it will be Toledo. As much as Sevilla was my home in Spain, Toledo was even more so. I feel like I was more independent in Toledo, I made my own connections there. Not necessarily with American students, but with Spaniards. If I go back, I want to volunteer at the place I had my internship. I want to stay in touch with my friends. I know the city, I am comfortable there. (And, for this reason, I would not be surprised if God sent me somewhere else. After all, what fun is life if we never leave our comfort zones?!)
To be honest, there are still a million emotions running through my mind. At random moments of my day, I may be elated, or really contemplative, maybe a little nervous, a little sad. I get really hopeful, and my mind wanders to the thousands of possibilities that await me there. I think about my friends who will be on that side of the world, and the opportunities that I will have to travel. I am truly bless to have this opportunity once again.
This is such an exciting time. Please keep me in your prayers as I try to work through the logistics of the whole thing. Pray for my family. Pray that I have an open spirit. And most of all, pray for me, because I don't really have the first clue about how to teach English in a public school. :)
Anyway.. on a totally unrelated note.
My season of waiting has come to an end!
Just as I was beginning to accept my fate as having to default to my Plan B, or maybe even my Plan C, I got the best news ever. I will be heading to Spain again this fall. For a school year. To teach English in a public school. I am thrilled.
Annnnd....I am so incredibly nervous. I need to go dig out some old journals, because every time I am about to leave for Spain I get overcome with anxiety. The only thing is, every time I have gone, it has turned out wonderfully. This has become my cycle.
I definitely have high expectations for this next year. But I am not naiive. I know that it will come with its fair share of trials and its days filled with loneliness and feeling like I am misunderstood or incapable of expressing myself. All of those, unfortunately, have been familiar feelings before. And I am sure they will be familiar again. But all I know is this.... whether this turns out to be the best experience ever, or the most trying experience ever, good things will come. All of the biggest risks that I have taken have led to the biggest rewards. And I'm not sure I've ever taken a risk of such proportions.
The only thing I know so far about this whole ordeal is that I will be in Castilla la Mancha, the province where Toledo is located. I don't know what city I will be in yet, but I am praying that it will be Toledo. As much as Sevilla was my home in Spain, Toledo was even more so. I feel like I was more independent in Toledo, I made my own connections there. Not necessarily with American students, but with Spaniards. If I go back, I want to volunteer at the place I had my internship. I want to stay in touch with my friends. I know the city, I am comfortable there. (And, for this reason, I would not be surprised if God sent me somewhere else. After all, what fun is life if we never leave our comfort zones?!)
To be honest, there are still a million emotions running through my mind. At random moments of my day, I may be elated, or really contemplative, maybe a little nervous, a little sad. I get really hopeful, and my mind wanders to the thousands of possibilities that await me there. I think about my friends who will be on that side of the world, and the opportunities that I will have to travel. I am truly bless to have this opportunity once again.
This is such an exciting time. Please keep me in your prayers as I try to work through the logistics of the whole thing. Pray for my family. Pray that I have an open spirit. And most of all, pray for me, because I don't really have the first clue about how to teach English in a public school. :)
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Freelance Whales
In case you were looking for a way to have your mind blown this evening:
Here is a video by Freelance Whales.
When I watch this video, I can't believe that these sounds are coming out of these people. I mean, they are barely moving. But the sounds are wonderful.
Go to their myspace. I don't think you will regret it. Well, unless you really hate their music, but I can't see how that would be possible.
(Click on the video to watch it in youtube. You can't see the whole thing here. So sad.)
Freelance Whales - Generator 2nd Floor
Freelance Whales | MySpace Music Videos
Enjoy these audible treats.
Here is a video by Freelance Whales.
When I watch this video, I can't believe that these sounds are coming out of these people. I mean, they are barely moving. But the sounds are wonderful.
Go to their myspace. I don't think you will regret it. Well, unless you really hate their music, but I can't see how that would be possible.
(Click on the video to watch it in youtube. You can't see the whole thing here. So sad.)
Freelance Whales - Generator 2nd Floor
Freelance Whales | MySpace Music Videos
Enjoy these audible treats.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
22 & not pregnant.
Of all of the days that I have experienced in my life, yesterday probably would not rank among the best.
To begin, I awoke in the morning with a stupid migraine. It hurt to keep my eyes open. So I called off of work, and slept instead. It was great. By the afternoon, I felt much better.
Anyway, I also came to some realizations. After some stressful dealings with my credit union, I went into a bout of catastrophic thinking. I'm poor, I'll never get a better job, I'll be paying debts off for my whole life, I won't be able to to go to Spain thanks to my debt, etc. Then I decided that none of the "goals" that I had established for my "transitional time" at home have been met. So all of that lead to feeling like a failure. haha. I told you, it was catastrophic thinking.
Anyway, I talked it out with my mom, and she told me to basically chill, and that things will be ok. And then I felt a little better.
...Until I started thinking about my haircut again. haha. She was going to get her hair done by our friend, so I asked if she could try to fix mine a little as well. I basically felt horrible when I got there. haha. I mean, I knew it wasn't a great haircut, but she let me know just how bad she thought it was. haha. "I don't like to criticize other peoples' work, but this is really bad." haha. That being said, she told me that she wouldn't be able to do much, just tweak it a little. So now I had these ideas in my head about how horrible it was, and no way to make it better. Ugh. She trimmed it up a little, and by the time she was done, I wanted to cry. haha. It's sooo short now. Even shorter than before. And my bangs are annoying and short. Ugggggh. I hate haircuts.
So anyway, yesterday wasn't so good.
But, right before bed, I was watching 16 & Pregnant, and I realized that no matter how helpless I felt about my finances and job prospects, or about my ability to make my hair grow at superhuman speeds, things could be worse. Thank God I'm not 16 or Pregnant. ...Or for that matter, thank God I'm not 22 and pregnant either.
To begin, I awoke in the morning with a stupid migraine. It hurt to keep my eyes open. So I called off of work, and slept instead. It was great. By the afternoon, I felt much better.
Anyway, I also came to some realizations. After some stressful dealings with my credit union, I went into a bout of catastrophic thinking. I'm poor, I'll never get a better job, I'll be paying debts off for my whole life, I won't be able to to go to Spain thanks to my debt, etc. Then I decided that none of the "goals" that I had established for my "transitional time" at home have been met. So all of that lead to feeling like a failure. haha. I told you, it was catastrophic thinking.
Anyway, I talked it out with my mom, and she told me to basically chill, and that things will be ok. And then I felt a little better.
...Until I started thinking about my haircut again. haha. She was going to get her hair done by our friend, so I asked if she could try to fix mine a little as well. I basically felt horrible when I got there. haha. I mean, I knew it wasn't a great haircut, but she let me know just how bad she thought it was. haha. "I don't like to criticize other peoples' work, but this is really bad." haha. That being said, she told me that she wouldn't be able to do much, just tweak it a little. So now I had these ideas in my head about how horrible it was, and no way to make it better. Ugh. She trimmed it up a little, and by the time she was done, I wanted to cry. haha. It's sooo short now. Even shorter than before. And my bangs are annoying and short. Ugggggh. I hate haircuts.
So anyway, yesterday wasn't so good.
But, right before bed, I was watching 16 & Pregnant, and I realized that no matter how helpless I felt about my finances and job prospects, or about my ability to make my hair grow at superhuman speeds, things could be worse. Thank God I'm not 16 or Pregnant. ...Or for that matter, thank God I'm not 22 and pregnant either.
Monday, April 5, 2010
:/ :| :D :/ :D
Here's what's new in my life. Or semi-new. Or not really new at all.
- I got a haircut. It's really short. And I'm really insecure about it. Because people just say "Oh, you got your hair cut!" .... Or some people say, "Hair grows back fast..." I don't know how that makes me feel. haha
- As if Jesus' example wasn't a good enough reason, the tv series 'Hoarders' has helped me decide to part with a large portion of my possessions. That tv show is terrifying.
- I am going to Las Vegas next week! My mom is going to a conference for work, and they are paying for her to stay at the Venetian. I wasn't going to go. In fact, I originally had no desire to go. But after talking to one of my and my mom's friends, I decided that I definitely should. I had a free flight on Southwest. And I could just take a week off from work, lounge by the pool, read some books, and get tan. This is my major goal. haha. During the days that's my plan, and at night, my mom will be free, so we'll go out then. It should be fun. I am just really looking forward to some relaxation time. haha. I am lame. But seriously... a free vacation? Yes, please!
- April is the month that I find out whether or not I'll be going to Spain next year. I get nervous when I think about it. I need prayer.
- Spring makes me happy. Legitimately, I am a more joyful person in sunny weather.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
spring has sprung.
Today was pretty excellent.
We have been having such nice weather, and the thought of letting it pass by without savoring it made me sad. For days and days, I have been wanting to ride my bike. I have been looking for people to go with me, but nobody else was interested, or they don't have a bike. haha. So I had to go alone.
I went out today around noon, and had about 3 hours until I had to pick my brother up from work. (I rode the trails right next to jail, so luckily I didn't have to go very far). I rode from the jail to the South Side (to the park across the river) and back, and then rode toward downtown to see what was that way. The trail ended, but I rode to Point State Park, and turned around before crossing the river to the North Shore. It was a really nice ride. The weather was beautiful, there were plenty of people out, and the city is gorgeous. It would have been nice to have someone else with me, but I definitely enjoyed myself. I want to do it again for sure.
When I got home from my biking adventure, I realized that I lost a spring that goes on my tire. (When I took the front tire off to fit the bike in my car, I must have lost it.) I went back to the jail parking lot to find it, to no avail. I am hoping that spring wasn't some necessary part that I will die without. It just goes between the bolt and tire when you put the tire back on. I'm not stressing too bad because I don't know what it does really. haha. I guess I'll find out soon enough.
This evening, I went to Rita's to get some free Italian ice with Betty and Jill, two women that I work with. They are sisters. Oh, and I have known them for pretty much my whole life. Betty is good friends with my mom, Jill was my dad's bartender. It's a small world.
Anyway, I was trying to decide if I feel silly for hanging out with 60-somethings on a Saturday night, and I decided that I don't feel silly. They are fun. And it definitely beats my other options for the evening, of which there are none.
But lately, I have really been missing the community that I had in college. I want to make new friends at home, but I don't really know how. haha. That sounds lame, but it's true. When I move away, go to foreign countries, etc., I never have a problem. I always end up making friends. But when I am at home, and it has always been this way, I just don't know how to meet people. Maybe there's something about being out of my comfort zone, I'm not sure, but hopefully I'll be able to get involved in some things around here and make some new friends. It's sad that my mother is even calling me a recluse for not having people to go out with on a Friday night. ouch.
Oh! And the other project that I am working on....
A garden! I want to build one this year. I think I finally have the motivation, time, and resources to do it. I've been thinking about it, and trying to make plans. I think I want to build a raised bed, and I know where I want to put it in my yard. I am thinking about planting tomatoes, sweet peppers, zucchini, onions, and green beans. We'll see how this goes. haha.
But anyway, I love spring. I'm so glad it is here.
We have been having such nice weather, and the thought of letting it pass by without savoring it made me sad. For days and days, I have been wanting to ride my bike. I have been looking for people to go with me, but nobody else was interested, or they don't have a bike. haha. So I had to go alone.
I went out today around noon, and had about 3 hours until I had to pick my brother up from work. (I rode the trails right next to jail, so luckily I didn't have to go very far). I rode from the jail to the South Side (to the park across the river) and back, and then rode toward downtown to see what was that way. The trail ended, but I rode to Point State Park, and turned around before crossing the river to the North Shore. It was a really nice ride. The weather was beautiful, there were plenty of people out, and the city is gorgeous. It would have been nice to have someone else with me, but I definitely enjoyed myself. I want to do it again for sure.
When I got home from my biking adventure, I realized that I lost a spring that goes on my tire. (When I took the front tire off to fit the bike in my car, I must have lost it.) I went back to the jail parking lot to find it, to no avail. I am hoping that spring wasn't some necessary part that I will die without. It just goes between the bolt and tire when you put the tire back on. I'm not stressing too bad because I don't know what it does really. haha. I guess I'll find out soon enough.
This evening, I went to Rita's to get some free Italian ice with Betty and Jill, two women that I work with. They are sisters. Oh, and I have known them for pretty much my whole life. Betty is good friends with my mom, Jill was my dad's bartender. It's a small world.
Anyway, I was trying to decide if I feel silly for hanging out with 60-somethings on a Saturday night, and I decided that I don't feel silly. They are fun. And it definitely beats my other options for the evening, of which there are none.
But lately, I have really been missing the community that I had in college. I want to make new friends at home, but I don't really know how. haha. That sounds lame, but it's true. When I move away, go to foreign countries, etc., I never have a problem. I always end up making friends. But when I am at home, and it has always been this way, I just don't know how to meet people. Maybe there's something about being out of my comfort zone, I'm not sure, but hopefully I'll be able to get involved in some things around here and make some new friends. It's sad that my mother is even calling me a recluse for not having people to go out with on a Friday night. ouch.
Oh! And the other project that I am working on....
A garden! I want to build one this year. I think I finally have the motivation, time, and resources to do it. I've been thinking about it, and trying to make plans. I think I want to build a raised bed, and I know where I want to put it in my yard. I am thinking about planting tomatoes, sweet peppers, zucchini, onions, and green beans. We'll see how this goes. haha.
But anyway, I love spring. I'm so glad it is here.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
So today has been an incredibly lazy Sunday. And when I say "incredibly lazy", I mean just that. I feel like a waste of life today. The only thing I really did was make some French toast and watch the US/Canada hockey game. (And, of course, along with that, reconfirm my love for Sidney Crosby.)
So I guess it has been a while since I updated. But my life is rather boring these days anyways. You're not missing out on much.
Yesterday, however, I did finish my ESL tutor training. So that is kind of exciting. I am not sure I feel entirely prepared to start tutoring yet, but then again, I don't have any information about my student(s) yet. Once I hear from my coordinator, things might be better. It's just kind of difficult for me to know where I will need to begin. And when I think about it, I am glad that I am going to start tutoring here before I try to move to Spain and take on classrooms full of English students. The experience here will be helpful!
About the program in Spain, I have still not mailed in my hard-copy documents. I am getting mad with myself. I really am the worst procrastinator, and knowing that there is no deadline is making this really difficult for me. The only thing that I don't have is a 300-word statement of purpose. This could be so easy. But for some reason, I am so hung up on it. I am vowing to myself that I will have it done by Friday. ....Maybe I need to impose some sort of self-punishment if it doesn't get done. haha. The reason I missed my last opportunity to live/work in Spain was because I waited too long to send my letter of intent. I can't let that happen again. I need to just send this stuff in!
Speaking of my irresponsibility.....
I began to write a post last week, but I never finished it. It's a good thing too, because had I posted it, I would have been eating my own words shortly after. I began to ramble about how I hate living at home, about the ways that I feel childish, and how I regress when I'm here, and about how I can't be as responsible here as I could be on my own. And I was talking about how my mom was out of town for the week, and how I was excited for the chance to be able to feel like I was living alone. But none of that worked out the way I had hoped.
My kitty cat got really sick on Sunday, and I scheduled a vet appointment for 8:15 on Monday morning (we had made a few appointments in the last couple of weeks, but they all got snowed out). Anyway, my kitty didn't make it to his appointment. :( He died around 5:30 on Monday morning, just after I came back upstairs from getting my laundry. It was like he waited for me. He was fine when I went downstairs, and when I came back, he was laying on his side, breathing hard. Once I started petting him, he looked at me, gasped a huge breath, and then stopped breathing. :( It was so sad. I knew he was sick, and really old, and I was kind of expecting this to happen soon, but when it did happen, I was surprised at how sad I was. And maybe it was the fact that I witnessed the event. Or the fact that I felt like he waited for me to come back. I don't know. But I was really upset that my mom wasn't home for the whole thing. And when I had to deal with his remains, and make arrangements for him to be cremated, I just felt like my mom should have been there. And I felt really bad that she didn't get to see him one last time.
I just feel like I am in a really awkward situation living at home. Sometimes I feel really irresponsible and childish, and other times I feel like I am the only responsible person in this house. In reality, I know that there is no way that I could afford to move out. So it's not really a viable option for the time being. But really, this has been my daily struggle: to try to live responsibly for myself, and to fight my own tendencies to rely on my mother for things that I should be capable of handling myself.
.....maybe that doesn't sound so hard, but sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy.
In other, more uplifting news, I am pretty pumped for a last-minute trip to DC this weekend with Kim and Amanda! I am definitely in need of some excitement around here! (Even if I have to travel out of state to find it!)
So I guess it has been a while since I updated. But my life is rather boring these days anyways. You're not missing out on much.
Yesterday, however, I did finish my ESL tutor training. So that is kind of exciting. I am not sure I feel entirely prepared to start tutoring yet, but then again, I don't have any information about my student(s) yet. Once I hear from my coordinator, things might be better. It's just kind of difficult for me to know where I will need to begin. And when I think about it, I am glad that I am going to start tutoring here before I try to move to Spain and take on classrooms full of English students. The experience here will be helpful!
About the program in Spain, I have still not mailed in my hard-copy documents. I am getting mad with myself. I really am the worst procrastinator, and knowing that there is no deadline is making this really difficult for me. The only thing that I don't have is a 300-word statement of purpose. This could be so easy. But for some reason, I am so hung up on it. I am vowing to myself that I will have it done by Friday. ....Maybe I need to impose some sort of self-punishment if it doesn't get done. haha. The reason I missed my last opportunity to live/work in Spain was because I waited too long to send my letter of intent. I can't let that happen again. I need to just send this stuff in!
Speaking of my irresponsibility.....
I began to write a post last week, but I never finished it. It's a good thing too, because had I posted it, I would have been eating my own words shortly after. I began to ramble about how I hate living at home, about the ways that I feel childish, and how I regress when I'm here, and about how I can't be as responsible here as I could be on my own. And I was talking about how my mom was out of town for the week, and how I was excited for the chance to be able to feel like I was living alone. But none of that worked out the way I had hoped.
My kitty cat got really sick on Sunday, and I scheduled a vet appointment for 8:15 on Monday morning (we had made a few appointments in the last couple of weeks, but they all got snowed out). Anyway, my kitty didn't make it to his appointment. :( He died around 5:30 on Monday morning, just after I came back upstairs from getting my laundry. It was like he waited for me. He was fine when I went downstairs, and when I came back, he was laying on his side, breathing hard. Once I started petting him, he looked at me, gasped a huge breath, and then stopped breathing. :( It was so sad. I knew he was sick, and really old, and I was kind of expecting this to happen soon, but when it did happen, I was surprised at how sad I was. And maybe it was the fact that I witnessed the event. Or the fact that I felt like he waited for me to come back. I don't know. But I was really upset that my mom wasn't home for the whole thing. And when I had to deal with his remains, and make arrangements for him to be cremated, I just felt like my mom should have been there. And I felt really bad that she didn't get to see him one last time.
I just feel like I am in a really awkward situation living at home. Sometimes I feel really irresponsible and childish, and other times I feel like I am the only responsible person in this house. In reality, I know that there is no way that I could afford to move out. So it's not really a viable option for the time being. But really, this has been my daily struggle: to try to live responsibly for myself, and to fight my own tendencies to rely on my mother for things that I should be capable of handling myself.
.....maybe that doesn't sound so hard, but sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy.
In other, more uplifting news, I am pretty pumped for a last-minute trip to DC this weekend with Kim and Amanda! I am definitely in need of some excitement around here! (Even if I have to travel out of state to find it!)
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
second languages for everyone!
My application to teach in Spain is filled out, and waiting to be submitted online. All it takes is the click of a button. But there is just something about it that makes me so unable to click it just yet. Maybe it's because once I submit it, I can't edit it. And I haven't figured out a way to tell them that I will be teaching English in Pittsburgh for 6 months starting..... now!
I have my first training session for teaching ESL classes this Saturday. I am pretty pumped. I am not sure what to expect, but I am excited. I hope I get a really fun/talkative group. And I definitely think this will be a great experience.
I'm basically signing on to teach 4 hours/week for 6 months. That is a HUGE time commitment. But, let's face it. I don't have much of a life going on now anyway. haha. And really, I hope I enjoy doing this, so that I will feel more comfortable moving to Spain to make this my occupation for a year.
Speaking of.. MOVING TO SPAIN?! again?! I get butterflies in my tummy when I think about the possibility. My friend Rachel is also applying to this program, (it's through the Spanish government, by the way), so hopefully we will both get to go, and then we can meet up and travel around together! It will be the coolest, I am sure of it.
I know I am still in the application process, and there is a lot to think about before I make the decision to actually go. But I'm just trying to open up the opportunity for myself now. I definitely will need some prayer on the issue though!
Oh! And, my boss asked me last week if I'd like to go to some "Survival Spanish Classes for Correctional Officers". I realize it is for COs, and I am already able to "survive" in Spanish. But she wants me to go so that I can "see what they teach, and how they teach it", and then, maybe I can help teach the medical staff relevant material for them. What?! I told her I'd be delighted! So those classes are coming up in March. But wow. Maybe language teaching is turning out to be my career. haha
Gah! So that's the exciting stuff going on with me. I mean, there's more. But that's enough for one post. :)
I have my first training session for teaching ESL classes this Saturday. I am pretty pumped. I am not sure what to expect, but I am excited. I hope I get a really fun/talkative group. And I definitely think this will be a great experience.
I'm basically signing on to teach 4 hours/week for 6 months. That is a HUGE time commitment. But, let's face it. I don't have much of a life going on now anyway. haha. And really, I hope I enjoy doing this, so that I will feel more comfortable moving to Spain to make this my occupation for a year.
Speaking of.. MOVING TO SPAIN?! again?! I get butterflies in my tummy when I think about the possibility. My friend Rachel is also applying to this program, (it's through the Spanish government, by the way), so hopefully we will both get to go, and then we can meet up and travel around together! It will be the coolest, I am sure of it.
I know I am still in the application process, and there is a lot to think about before I make the decision to actually go. But I'm just trying to open up the opportunity for myself now. I definitely will need some prayer on the issue though!
Oh! And, my boss asked me last week if I'd like to go to some "Survival Spanish Classes for Correctional Officers". I realize it is for COs, and I am already able to "survive" in Spanish. But she wants me to go so that I can "see what they teach, and how they teach it", and then, maybe I can help teach the medical staff relevant material for them. What?! I told her I'd be delighted! So those classes are coming up in March. But wow. Maybe language teaching is turning out to be my career. haha
Gah! So that's the exciting stuff going on with me. I mean, there's more. But that's enough for one post. :)
Friday, January 29, 2010
movies.
I am into movies lately. I haven't read a book in who knows how long, but now I want to spend my free time watching movies. New ones, old ones, funny ones, thrilling ones, good ones, weird ones, any ones really.
Thank goodness for Netflix.
One of my newest goals is to watch all of the movies on the AFI's list of the top 100. I have only seen 29 already. But luckily, most of them are free to stream on netflix, which means I can watch them any time I want. So hopefully, relatively soon, I will make decent strides with that list.
Anyway, I have been wanting to watch a really good, new movie. The only problem is, they don't exist right now. But I had put Paper Heart on my Netflix cue a while ago, and it came the other day. I wasn't entirely sure what it was about, the only reason I put it on there was because I have a crush on Michael Cera. But the movie was fantastic! It's a half-real/half-fake documentary, (a mock-umentary, if you will), about Charlyne Yi trying to find out what love is. She doesn't believe that she can ever fall in love. But then, along comes Michael Cera, haha. It's just so cute. And maybe I'm just a girl, who loves love. But I think it had some good things to say about love. Basically, I'm going to recommend that everybody watch it. Actually, I kind of want to watch it again... right now. But maybe I'll wait a little. It is just a really adorable movie. I'm giving it 5 stars on netflix, in case anybody is wondering.
Oh, and no... Netflix didn't pay me to name drop 50 times in this blog. But if they're interested, I'd take the money.
Thank goodness for Netflix.
One of my newest goals is to watch all of the movies on the AFI's list of the top 100. I have only seen 29 already. But luckily, most of them are free to stream on netflix, which means I can watch them any time I want. So hopefully, relatively soon, I will make decent strides with that list.
Anyway, I have been wanting to watch a really good, new movie. The only problem is, they don't exist right now. But I had put Paper Heart on my Netflix cue a while ago, and it came the other day. I wasn't entirely sure what it was about, the only reason I put it on there was because I have a crush on Michael Cera. But the movie was fantastic! It's a half-real/half-fake documentary, (a mock-umentary, if you will), about Charlyne Yi trying to find out what love is. She doesn't believe that she can ever fall in love. But then, along comes Michael Cera, haha. It's just so cute. And maybe I'm just a girl, who loves love. But I think it had some good things to say about love. Basically, I'm going to recommend that everybody watch it. Actually, I kind of want to watch it again... right now. But maybe I'll wait a little. It is just a really adorable movie. I'm giving it 5 stars on netflix, in case anybody is wondering.
Oh, and no... Netflix didn't pay me to name drop 50 times in this blog. But if they're interested, I'd take the money.
Friday, January 22, 2010
what a waste of time.
Click on this picture to see the biggest time-waster of my life.
I am so sad. haha.
I am so sad. haha.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
january is boring.
I am battling an intense cold. I hate it, and it hates me. And unforunately, I have run out of cough syrup. If I want to beat it, I better replenish my supplies! And I'll need more kleenex while I'm at it. Not only does my head feel like it's in the clouds... it also appears that way, with small, puffy, white balls surrounding me every second of every day. It's gross. Really.
I am applying to be a census taker. It pays a pretty penny. $15.75/hr. That's awesome. That's about what I make in overtime pay. Daaaaang. You have to take a test before you can get the job.. you know, to make sure I can read/write/do basic arithmetic. I think I can do all of that. So we'll see what happens. It sure will be nice to make some crazy money for a few weeks.
Also, I called the GPLC to apply to be a volunteer. They are sending the application in the mail. Hooray. I really hope it works out.
Also, I just discovered stumbleupon.com. How have I lived without this? It is the answer to boredom.
Oh, and I haven't read a single book yet in 2010. (These last two statements are not necessarily related.) Maybe I'll do that tonight.
I am applying to be a census taker. It pays a pretty penny. $15.75/hr. That's awesome. That's about what I make in overtime pay. Daaaaang. You have to take a test before you can get the job.. you know, to make sure I can read/write/do basic arithmetic. I think I can do all of that. So we'll see what happens. It sure will be nice to make some crazy money for a few weeks.
Also, I called the GPLC to apply to be a volunteer. They are sending the application in the mail. Hooray. I really hope it works out.
Also, I just discovered stumbleupon.com. How have I lived without this? It is the answer to boredom.
Oh, and I haven't read a single book yet in 2010. (These last two statements are not necessarily related.) Maybe I'll do that tonight.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
my price: one gyro, no cucumber sauce.
Every now and then I get these bursts of motivation. Whether they involve house cleaning, organization, or job applications, they come suddenly, and go almost as quickly.
My most recent burst of motivation comes after my boss tried to buy my soul with a gyro today. I knew that something wasn't right when she called to ask if I wanted a gyro for lunch. These are usually saved for special occasions, such as mandatory overtime weekends, stuck-at-work holidays, right after big projects get done, etc. So, imagine my surprise when, on an ordinary Tuesday morning I received the offer. I wasn't sure what the occasion was, but who was I to refuse? ... I naively accepted.
I went to lunch to find my toasty, delicious gyro sitting at an empty seat, between 2 of my bosses. How could I be so lucky? Not only was my seat predetermined, but the rest of my coworkers sat nearby, eating their jail-food cheeseburgers (one of the better meals we have!), secretly resenting me for rubbing elbows with the bigwigs. It was a catch-22!
Needless to say, the gyro was enjoyed over small talk. But the whole time, I was wondering what price I was going to have to pay for this treat. And boy, oh boy, it came not 30 minutes after I returned from lunch.
I got a call to go down to the conference room, where my bosses sat waiting. I was told that I now have to come in from 7-3, instead of 8-4. And essentially, I will be working by myself upstairs. Actually, I'd rather work by myself than have some of the help they were offering. But we'll see how it goes. Basically there were a lot of conversations that went on, though I feel like I never have the opportunity to express my own ideas. When I try, my sentences are magically finished for me, or I'm interrupted, or the subject suddenly changes. These interactions are always the same.. and usually I try to avoid them at whatever cost. Note to self: accepting a gyro is not a good way to avoid such interactions.
But basically, these kinds of work days get me thinking about the future...
I was just looking at the applications/descriptions for a job to be a teachers' assistant for English classes in Spain. My friend Ellen is currently doing this program in Jerez, and from what I can tell, she's enjoying it. I get all giddy at the idea of living in Spain again....butterflies, the whole works. And when days like today roll around, there's no where I'd rather be than in a little bodega, sipping on a tinto, and speaking spanish. I tell you, it's the life for me.
And since I have been looking into this TESL stuff, I've decided that I want to start volunteering here at home for ESL programs. The Greater Pittsburgh Literacy Council has training sessions and opportunities to tutor ESL students. I think this would be a great way to get some experience before I go and do this in Spain.. and hey, I better make sure I enjoy it if I'm going to do it for a school year!
And such is life..
When I realize my misery (or monotony), I try to make some effort to change it.
My most recent burst of motivation comes after my boss tried to buy my soul with a gyro today. I knew that something wasn't right when she called to ask if I wanted a gyro for lunch. These are usually saved for special occasions, such as mandatory overtime weekends, stuck-at-work holidays, right after big projects get done, etc. So, imagine my surprise when, on an ordinary Tuesday morning I received the offer. I wasn't sure what the occasion was, but who was I to refuse? ... I naively accepted.
I went to lunch to find my toasty, delicious gyro sitting at an empty seat, between 2 of my bosses. How could I be so lucky? Not only was my seat predetermined, but the rest of my coworkers sat nearby, eating their jail-food cheeseburgers (one of the better meals we have!), secretly resenting me for rubbing elbows with the bigwigs. It was a catch-22!
Needless to say, the gyro was enjoyed over small talk. But the whole time, I was wondering what price I was going to have to pay for this treat. And boy, oh boy, it came not 30 minutes after I returned from lunch.
I got a call to go down to the conference room, where my bosses sat waiting. I was told that I now have to come in from 7-3, instead of 8-4. And essentially, I will be working by myself upstairs. Actually, I'd rather work by myself than have some of the help they were offering. But we'll see how it goes. Basically there were a lot of conversations that went on, though I feel like I never have the opportunity to express my own ideas. When I try, my sentences are magically finished for me, or I'm interrupted, or the subject suddenly changes. These interactions are always the same.. and usually I try to avoid them at whatever cost. Note to self: accepting a gyro is not a good way to avoid such interactions.
But basically, these kinds of work days get me thinking about the future...
I was just looking at the applications/descriptions for a job to be a teachers' assistant for English classes in Spain. My friend Ellen is currently doing this program in Jerez, and from what I can tell, she's enjoying it. I get all giddy at the idea of living in Spain again....butterflies, the whole works. And when days like today roll around, there's no where I'd rather be than in a little bodega, sipping on a tinto, and speaking spanish. I tell you, it's the life for me.
And since I have been looking into this TESL stuff, I've decided that I want to start volunteering here at home for ESL programs. The Greater Pittsburgh Literacy Council has training sessions and opportunities to tutor ESL students. I think this would be a great way to get some experience before I go and do this in Spain.. and hey, I better make sure I enjoy it if I'm going to do it for a school year!
And such is life..
When I realize my misery (or monotony), I try to make some effort to change it.
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