So today has been an incredibly lazy Sunday. And when I say "incredibly lazy", I mean just that. I feel like a waste of life today. The only thing I really did was make some French toast and watch the US/Canada hockey game. (And, of course, along with that, reconfirm my love for Sidney Crosby.)

So I guess it has been a while since I updated. But my life is rather boring these days anyways. You're not missing out on much.

Yesterday, however, I did finish my ESL tutor training. So that is kind of exciting. I am not sure I feel entirely prepared to start tutoring yet, but then again, I don't have any information about my student(s) yet. Once I hear from my coordinator, things might be better. It's just kind of difficult for me to know where I will need to begin. And when I think about it, I am glad that I am going to start tutoring here before I try to move to Spain and take on classrooms full of English students. The experience here will be helpful!

About the program in Spain, I have still not mailed in my hard-copy documents. I am getting mad with myself. I really am the worst procrastinator, and knowing that there is no deadline is making this really difficult for me. The only thing that I don't have is a 300-word statement of purpose. This could be so easy. But for some reason, I am so hung up on it. I am vowing to myself that I will have it done by Friday. ....Maybe I need to impose some sort of self-punishment if it doesn't get done. haha. The reason I missed my last opportunity to live/work in Spain was because I waited too long to send my letter of intent. I can't let that happen again. I need to just send this stuff in!

Speaking of my irresponsibility.....
I began to write a post last week, but I never finished it. It's a good thing too, because had I posted it, I would have been eating my own words shortly after. I began to ramble about how I hate living at home, about the ways that I feel childish, and how I regress when I'm here, and about how I can't be as responsible here as I could be on my own. And I was talking about how my mom was out of town for the week, and how I was excited for the chance to be able to feel like I was living alone. But none of that worked out the way I had hoped.
My kitty cat got really sick on Sunday, and I scheduled a vet appointment for 8:15 on Monday morning (we had made a few appointments in the last couple of weeks, but they all got snowed out). Anyway, my kitty didn't make it to his appointment. :( He died around 5:30 on Monday morning, just after I came back upstairs from getting my laundry. It was like he waited for me. He was fine when I went downstairs, and when I came back, he was laying on his side, breathing hard. Once I started petting him, he looked at me, gasped a huge breath, and then stopped breathing. :( It was so sad. I knew he was sick, and really old, and I was kind of expecting this to happen soon, but when it did happen, I was surprised at how sad I was. And maybe it was the fact that I witnessed the event. Or the fact that I felt like he waited for me to come back. I don't know. But I was really upset that my mom wasn't home for the whole thing. And when I had to deal with his remains, and make arrangements for him to be cremated, I just felt like my mom should have been there. And I felt really bad that she didn't get to see him one last time.

I just feel like I am in a really awkward situation living at home. Sometimes I feel really irresponsible and childish, and other times I feel like I am the only responsible person in this house. In reality, I know that there is no way that I could afford to move out. So it's not really a viable option for the time being. But really, this has been my daily struggle: to try to live responsibly for myself, and to fight my own tendencies to rely on my mother for things that I should be capable of handling myself.
.....maybe that doesn't sound so hard, but sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy.

In other, more uplifting news, I am pretty pumped for a last-minute trip to DC this weekend with Kim and Amanda! I am definitely in need of some excitement around here! (Even if I have to travel out of state to find it!)

second languages for everyone!

My application to teach in Spain is filled out, and waiting to be submitted online. All it takes is the click of a button. But there is just something about it that makes me so unable to click it just yet. Maybe it's because once I submit it, I can't edit it. And I haven't figured out a way to tell them that I will be teaching English in Pittsburgh for 6 months starting..... now!

I have my first training session for teaching ESL classes this Saturday. I am pretty pumped. I am not sure what to expect, but I am excited. I hope I get a really fun/talkative group. And I definitely think this will be a great experience.

I'm basically signing on to teach 4 hours/week for 6 months. That is a HUGE time commitment. But, let's face it. I don't have much of a life going on now anyway. haha. And really, I hope I enjoy doing this, so that I will feel more comfortable moving to Spain to make this my occupation for a year.

Speaking of.. MOVING TO SPAIN?! again?! I get butterflies in my tummy when I think about the possibility. My friend Rachel is also applying to this program, (it's through the Spanish government, by the way), so hopefully we will both get to go, and then we can meet up and travel around together! It will be the coolest, I am sure of it.

I know I am still in the application process, and there is a lot to think about before I make the decision to actually go. But I'm just trying to open up the opportunity for myself now. I definitely will need some prayer on the issue though!

Oh! And, my boss asked me last week if I'd like to go to some "Survival Spanish Classes for Correctional Officers". I realize it is for COs, and I am already able to "survive" in Spanish. But she wants me to go so that I can "see what they teach, and how they teach it", and then, maybe I can help teach the medical staff relevant material for them. What?! I told her I'd be delighted! So those classes are coming up in March. But wow. Maybe language teaching is turning out to be my career. haha

Gah! So that's the exciting stuff going on with me. I mean, there's more. But that's enough for one post. :)