So today has been an incredibly lazy Sunday. And when I say "incredibly lazy", I mean just that. I feel like a waste of life today. The only thing I really did was make some French toast and watch the US/Canada hockey game. (And, of course, along with that, reconfirm my love for Sidney Crosby.)

So I guess it has been a while since I updated. But my life is rather boring these days anyways. You're not missing out on much.

Yesterday, however, I did finish my ESL tutor training. So that is kind of exciting. I am not sure I feel entirely prepared to start tutoring yet, but then again, I don't have any information about my student(s) yet. Once I hear from my coordinator, things might be better. It's just kind of difficult for me to know where I will need to begin. And when I think about it, I am glad that I am going to start tutoring here before I try to move to Spain and take on classrooms full of English students. The experience here will be helpful!

About the program in Spain, I have still not mailed in my hard-copy documents. I am getting mad with myself. I really am the worst procrastinator, and knowing that there is no deadline is making this really difficult for me. The only thing that I don't have is a 300-word statement of purpose. This could be so easy. But for some reason, I am so hung up on it. I am vowing to myself that I will have it done by Friday. ....Maybe I need to impose some sort of self-punishment if it doesn't get done. haha. The reason I missed my last opportunity to live/work in Spain was because I waited too long to send my letter of intent. I can't let that happen again. I need to just send this stuff in!

Speaking of my irresponsibility.....
I began to write a post last week, but I never finished it. It's a good thing too, because had I posted it, I would have been eating my own words shortly after. I began to ramble about how I hate living at home, about the ways that I feel childish, and how I regress when I'm here, and about how I can't be as responsible here as I could be on my own. And I was talking about how my mom was out of town for the week, and how I was excited for the chance to be able to feel like I was living alone. But none of that worked out the way I had hoped.
My kitty cat got really sick on Sunday, and I scheduled a vet appointment for 8:15 on Monday morning (we had made a few appointments in the last couple of weeks, but they all got snowed out). Anyway, my kitty didn't make it to his appointment. :( He died around 5:30 on Monday morning, just after I came back upstairs from getting my laundry. It was like he waited for me. He was fine when I went downstairs, and when I came back, he was laying on his side, breathing hard. Once I started petting him, he looked at me, gasped a huge breath, and then stopped breathing. :( It was so sad. I knew he was sick, and really old, and I was kind of expecting this to happen soon, but when it did happen, I was surprised at how sad I was. And maybe it was the fact that I witnessed the event. Or the fact that I felt like he waited for me to come back. I don't know. But I was really upset that my mom wasn't home for the whole thing. And when I had to deal with his remains, and make arrangements for him to be cremated, I just felt like my mom should have been there. And I felt really bad that she didn't get to see him one last time.

I just feel like I am in a really awkward situation living at home. Sometimes I feel really irresponsible and childish, and other times I feel like I am the only responsible person in this house. In reality, I know that there is no way that I could afford to move out. So it's not really a viable option for the time being. But really, this has been my daily struggle: to try to live responsibly for myself, and to fight my own tendencies to rely on my mother for things that I should be capable of handling myself.
.....maybe that doesn't sound so hard, but sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy.

In other, more uplifting news, I am pretty pumped for a last-minute trip to DC this weekend with Kim and Amanda! I am definitely in need of some excitement around here! (Even if I have to travel out of state to find it!)