Here it is. Rachael in Toledo. Part II, of course. ;)
Oh, and by the way, the countdown has begun. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!!!!!!!
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
freak in. freak out.
here is my obligatory "freak out" for the week:
but in the meantime... this dang back of mine needs to stop trying to kill me.
- I have been having really bad back pain. I mean, it hurts to stand, it hurts to sit, it hurts to bend. I can feel it in my legs. It sucks. I went to the chiropractor today, and it is still killing me. I have been taking naproxen religiously for the last 3 days. And.... I am just wondering what I am going to do if/when this happens to me in Spain. I won't have the option to call up the chiropractor in a state of emergency to be seen that day. I'll have to suffer through it, I guess.
- I overdrew my account. Great. I am living at home and working 40 hours a week. How will I manage when I am living abroad, by myself, and making only 700Euro/month?! (I won't, however, have a problem working a mere 12 hours weekly. That's what I'm talking about... yaknowwhatimsayin?)
- I just generally don't know what I am doing. I don't know what my duties are going to be yet. I don't know what it's going to be like to teach high-schoolers. I don't know how to teach English (or anything for that matter).
but in the meantime... this dang back of mine needs to stop trying to kill me.
Monday, August 23, 2010
two weeks notice.
While there is still no official countdown, the time is surely flying by.
Today I told my boss that I will be leaving. I gave my 3-weeks notice. My last day will be September 10. That will give me almost 2 work-free weeks to get my things in order. Hopefully I'll have a chance to relax for a little bit before the madness begins. ....But mostly, I am anticipating the madness.
My boss was happy for me when I told her that I'd be leaving. She doesn't care that she will be shorter-staffed. She is just excited that I'm pursuing my dream. I think she gets frustrated when young people take jobs there and settle into a routine and never move up and onto better things. And, as I told so many people so many times, they didn't have to worry about me. I had my sights set on what I wanted. The timing was the tricky part. And the year of patience has definitely paid off.
The Satuday after my last day, I am going to have a going away picnic/thing. I am excited for it. I just hope people show up. haha. I'll invite everyone from work, and my family and friends (these categories are not necessarily mutually exclusive). It will be a nice time to see everybody before I go. Ah... I almost can't believe it!
I better get cracking with my preparations... I just don't know what I should be doing!
Today I told my boss that I will be leaving. I gave my 3-weeks notice. My last day will be September 10. That will give me almost 2 work-free weeks to get my things in order. Hopefully I'll have a chance to relax for a little bit before the madness begins. ....But mostly, I am anticipating the madness.
My boss was happy for me when I told her that I'd be leaving. She doesn't care that she will be shorter-staffed. She is just excited that I'm pursuing my dream. I think she gets frustrated when young people take jobs there and settle into a routine and never move up and onto better things. And, as I told so many people so many times, they didn't have to worry about me. I had my sights set on what I wanted. The timing was the tricky part. And the year of patience has definitely paid off.
The Satuday after my last day, I am going to have a going away picnic/thing. I am excited for it. I just hope people show up. haha. I'll invite everyone from work, and my family and friends (these categories are not necessarily mutually exclusive). It will be a nice time to see everybody before I go. Ah... I almost can't believe it!
I better get cracking with my preparations... I just don't know what I should be doing!
Sunday, August 8, 2010
How To Be Alone
A friend posted this video on Facebook the other day.
I like it. Not only because the poetry is cute, but because I can see myself needing to hear this advice in the near future.
So, for future reference: How To Be Alone.
...I think it's important to note here that while this video encourages being alone, it doesn't encourage withdrawal. What it means to say is, don't let the fact that you're alone stop you from going out in public. How else could you meet people, unless you go out to find some?
I like it. Not only because the poetry is cute, but because I can see myself needing to hear this advice in the near future.
So, for future reference: How To Be Alone.
...I think it's important to note here that while this video encourages being alone, it doesn't encourage withdrawal. What it means to say is, don't let the fact that you're alone stop you from going out in public. How else could you meet people, unless you go out to find some?
Saturday, July 31, 2010
The social psychology explanation
Continuing with my theme of trying to figure out what it is about Spain that I love, I have discovered yet another explanation.
The Social Psychology explanation.
This video talks about time orientation... about whether you live in the present, past, or future. It's interesting to think about.
If you have a few minutes, give it a go. The animation is awesome, if nothing else! (But I assure you, the audio is good, too.)
Leave a comment, let me know what you think!
Edit:
Ellen so graciously pointed out to me that I did not clearly link this video to what it has to do with my love of Spain. So I left these as comments, but I decided to amend them to the post. Hopefully this clears it up a little bit (though it very well may not). :)
As for my time zone, I float somewhere between "past positive" and the "present fated". Though I am capable of making future plans, I am more likely to believe that God brings people and situations into your life that you can't plan for.. and in my experiences, those have always worked out rather well. I think you just have to kind of go with the flow, and figure things out as they come.
The Social Psychology explanation.
This video talks about time orientation... about whether you live in the present, past, or future. It's interesting to think about.
If you have a few minutes, give it a go. The animation is awesome, if nothing else! (But I assure you, the audio is good, too.)
Leave a comment, let me know what you think!
Edit:
Ellen so graciously pointed out to me that I did not clearly link this video to what it has to do with my love of Spain. So I left these as comments, but I decided to amend them to the post. Hopefully this clears it up a little bit (though it very well may not). :)
What I was meaning to say, was that the part about Catholic/Protestant nations seems to be applicable to the situation. I appreciate the Spanish pace of life much more than that of America. I like siestas. I appreciate that they take their time. (Though I must say, there have been moments where I wished the Spanish would pick up the pace a little, or keep their banks open longer than 6 hours a day. haha) But on the whole, I prefer to not have my life jam-packed with nonsense things to do. I hate that it's part of our culture to be in a hurry to go nowhere.
I'm re-reading Eat Pray Love (because I am SO excited for the movie!), and there is a passage that talks about this in the Italy portion. It says:
"Generally speaking, though, Americans have an inability to relax into sheer pleasure. Ours is an entertainment-seeking nation, but not necessarily a pleasure-seeking one. Americans spend billions to keep themselves amused with everything from porn to theme parks to wars, but that's not exactly the same thing as quiet enjoyment. Americans work harder and longer and more stressful hours than anyone in the world today. But as Luca Spaghetti pointed out, we seem to like it. Alarming statistics back this observation up, showing that many Americans feel more happy and fulfilled in their offices than they do in their own homes. Of course, we all inevitably work too hard, then we get burned out and have to spend the whole weekend in our pajamas, eating cereal straight out of the box and staring at the TV in a mild coma (which is the opposite of working, yes, but not exactly the same thing as pleasure). Americans don't really know how to do nothing. This is the cause of that great sad American stereotype--the overstressed executive who goes on vacation, but who cannot relax."
The she says, "I once asked Luca Spaghetti if Italians on vacation have the same problem. He laughed so hard he almost drove his motorbike into a fountain.
'Oh, no!' he said. 'We are the masters of il bel far niente.' This is a sweet expression. Il bel far niente means 'the beauty of doing nothing.'"
Maybe that clears it up. I just meant that maybe my "time zone" is more in line with the majority of Spaniards. (Even though I find myself bouncing between about 3 time zones on a given day.) :)-
Another way to say that is that I'd rather
"work to live" than "live to work". And I don't think that is necessarily correlated with laziness or lack of ambition. It's just a desire to appreciate the simpler things in life. It is extremely possible to be a productive member of society without working more than 40 hours per week.
As for my time zone, I float somewhere between "past positive" and the "present fated". Though I am capable of making future plans, I am more likely to believe that God brings people and situations into your life that you can't plan for.. and in my experiences, those have always worked out rather well. I think you just have to kind of go with the flow, and figure things out as they come.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
grand funk railroad.
I have been in a little funk for these last two days.
Yesterday, though I wasn't exactly ill, I decided to leave work early, for the simple fact that I didn't want to be there, and I didn't feel like myself. Remember how I told you it's getting harder and harder to be at work? This is still the case. I can't really stand it anymore. Maybe it's just because I know that I won't have to deal with it much longer..... but gosh. I could leave tomorrow and be ok with that. The only problem is, my bank account wouldn't be.
I am getting super nervous about finances. I have no money in the bank (aside from my measly savings). I borrowed money from my brother a couple of weeks ago, and I still can't pay him back....despite the fact that pay day has come and gone. I am nervous because, right now, I am living with my mother, not paying rent and barely paying expenses, and I still can hardly manage. And I don't have any vision of things getting easier once I'm in Spain.
This is no new issue in my life. This is always the way things have been, since I was a child. And every time, God has provided. All I can do it be a bit more frugal... and maybe try to work some overtime (ugh, despite the fact that that actually means working).
I have spent my whole evening tonight making flowers out of royal icing, baking a cake, icing a cake, and preparing for my class tomorrow. Sorry to say it, but I think tomorrow might be the last class I attend. I am absolutely loving it.. I love learning all of this stuff! But I just don't think it is a wise use of my time or money anymore. It is getting to be expensive, no question. And it just seems to consume so much time. I am so glad that I have learned what I have already learned.. and I'll continue to make these cakes and cupcakes for people for fun... but I just can't feasibly continue. haha. My cake dreams will have to wait, at least until I return.
But man... this cake that I made for tomorrow... it's pineapple cake with cherry filling... DE-LICIOUS! And it's going to look awesome... I'm pretty sure of it.
ANYWAY. Sorry to be all blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, but sometimes you'll have that.
Now I actually am starting to feel sick.. with throat yuckiness. My brother is just getting over something, so I hope it's not the same thing! This may be karma for leaving work on Monday.. whoops!
Yesterday, though I wasn't exactly ill, I decided to leave work early, for the simple fact that I didn't want to be there, and I didn't feel like myself. Remember how I told you it's getting harder and harder to be at work? This is still the case. I can't really stand it anymore. Maybe it's just because I know that I won't have to deal with it much longer..... but gosh. I could leave tomorrow and be ok with that. The only problem is, my bank account wouldn't be.
I am getting super nervous about finances. I have no money in the bank (aside from my measly savings). I borrowed money from my brother a couple of weeks ago, and I still can't pay him back....despite the fact that pay day has come and gone. I am nervous because, right now, I am living with my mother, not paying rent and barely paying expenses, and I still can hardly manage. And I don't have any vision of things getting easier once I'm in Spain.
This is no new issue in my life. This is always the way things have been, since I was a child. And every time, God has provided. All I can do it be a bit more frugal... and maybe try to work some overtime (ugh, despite the fact that that actually means working).
I have spent my whole evening tonight making flowers out of royal icing, baking a cake, icing a cake, and preparing for my class tomorrow. Sorry to say it, but I think tomorrow might be the last class I attend. I am absolutely loving it.. I love learning all of this stuff! But I just don't think it is a wise use of my time or money anymore. It is getting to be expensive, no question. And it just seems to consume so much time. I am so glad that I have learned what I have already learned.. and I'll continue to make these cakes and cupcakes for people for fun... but I just can't feasibly continue. haha. My cake dreams will have to wait, at least until I return.
But man... this cake that I made for tomorrow... it's pineapple cake with cherry filling... DE-LICIOUS! And it's going to look awesome... I'm pretty sure of it.
ANYWAY. Sorry to be all blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, but sometimes you'll have that.
Now I actually am starting to feel sick.. with throat yuckiness. My brother is just getting over something, so I hope it's not the same thing! This may be karma for leaving work on Monday.. whoops!
Thursday, July 22, 2010
It's all coming together.
In the last few days, I have had a fair share of breakthrough moments.
I emailed Miguel, my professor from Toledo the other day to let him know that I would be back in the area, to ask him for some advice, and to find out what he knows about the town that I will be teaching in. I was ecstatic when he replied to tell me that:
1. Numancia de la Sagra is small, and I should live in Toledo city and take the bus every day. Or, he said, there are probably some people that work at the school that drive from Toledo (I hope this is the case, as the bus only leaves Toledo at 6:45 and 8:45am. WOAH. Can't miss it!)
2. He sent the bus schedule.
3. He has a friend that rents apartments in Toledo and that if I tell him what/where/how much I'm looking for he would talk to him to see what he can do for me!!
4. I can stay at the residence hall of the school until I get figured out, for 25E/day. This seems like a good deal.
...There was such a weight lifted off of me when I read this email. Seriously, joy filled my heart when he suggested that I live in Toledo. That was my place. I was glad that I would be close, but now that I will be there, I am that much more excited! It was also nice to hear that I have somebody over there who will have my back. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to rely too heavily on anybody. But the thought of going to another country with no place to live and no idea of how to find one was a little disconcerting. And all of Miguel's words were like music to my ears! (...or, like something beautiful to my eyes- because I read them, I didn't hear them.)
Secondly, I GOT MY VISA IN THE MAIL TODAY!!!!
Originally, I thought it was a letter for my mom. She is always getting certified letters for work, so I didn't really think to check the UPS envelope when I saw it on the porch. I just set it aside for her. Once she got home, she opened it, and couldn't figure out what it was. "This is for you!", she said... and immediately I knew what it was! My visa!! I was shocked, I must say. I only applied for it on July 8, which means that in EXACTLY 2 weeks, the visa had arrived to my doorstep. I find that rather amazing. All of those wait times must just be government code for "We'll get to it when we get to it, and don't bother us about it in the meantime." BUT WOOO! I could go ANY day now if I wanted! (But trust me, Sept 22 is early enough!)
Thirdly, I can clearly see that it is time for me to leave my job. It's hitting me like "senioritis" in a way. Every day it is getting harder and harder and wake up and go. I don't really feel like doing much when I'm there (let me remind you that I am filing all day. Nobody notices whether I file 100 or 1000 papers in a day.) I have begun to realize that when I leave, nobody will do my job, it will just back up. So what's the difference if it starts to back up now or in a few weeks? I am getting really sick of the way things work there, and I am just ready to be done with the whole scene. I no longer want to spend 40 hours of my week in a jail-- a place that was designed to make you feel a disconnect from the outside world. I hate the way that place is having a negative effect on my attitudes. I still haven't told my boss when I plan on leaving. I haven't even told her officially that I am going... but I am pretty sure that somebody else probably has. I tried to keep this thing under wraps, but when so many people ask me on a regular basis, "When are you going back to Spain?", I just had to tell them. Slowly but surely, every milestone that I had once held in my head about when I'd share my news has come and gone: Getting accepted, getting the visa, buying the plane ticket, deciding when my last day will be. I have chosen my day, but I don't want to share it quite yet. As long as I give them 2 weeks, it'll be okay.
While these next few weeks might seem like torture for me, I am beginning to realize that the time has definitely come to move on in life. And every step forward makes me a little more excited and hopeful of what's to come.
I emailed Miguel, my professor from Toledo the other day to let him know that I would be back in the area, to ask him for some advice, and to find out what he knows about the town that I will be teaching in. I was ecstatic when he replied to tell me that:
1. Numancia de la Sagra is small, and I should live in Toledo city and take the bus every day. Or, he said, there are probably some people that work at the school that drive from Toledo (I hope this is the case, as the bus only leaves Toledo at 6:45 and 8:45am. WOAH. Can't miss it!)
2. He sent the bus schedule.
3. He has a friend that rents apartments in Toledo and that if I tell him what/where/how much I'm looking for he would talk to him to see what he can do for me!!
4. I can stay at the residence hall of the school until I get figured out, for 25E/day. This seems like a good deal.
...There was such a weight lifted off of me when I read this email. Seriously, joy filled my heart when he suggested that I live in Toledo. That was my place. I was glad that I would be close, but now that I will be there, I am that much more excited! It was also nice to hear that I have somebody over there who will have my back. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to rely too heavily on anybody. But the thought of going to another country with no place to live and no idea of how to find one was a little disconcerting. And all of Miguel's words were like music to my ears! (...or, like something beautiful to my eyes- because I read them, I didn't hear them.)
Secondly, I GOT MY VISA IN THE MAIL TODAY!!!!
Originally, I thought it was a letter for my mom. She is always getting certified letters for work, so I didn't really think to check the UPS envelope when I saw it on the porch. I just set it aside for her. Once she got home, she opened it, and couldn't figure out what it was. "This is for you!", she said... and immediately I knew what it was! My visa!! I was shocked, I must say. I only applied for it on July 8, which means that in EXACTLY 2 weeks, the visa had arrived to my doorstep. I find that rather amazing. All of those wait times must just be government code for "We'll get to it when we get to it, and don't bother us about it in the meantime." BUT WOOO! I could go ANY day now if I wanted! (But trust me, Sept 22 is early enough!)
Thirdly, I can clearly see that it is time for me to leave my job. It's hitting me like "senioritis" in a way. Every day it is getting harder and harder and wake up and go. I don't really feel like doing much when I'm there (let me remind you that I am filing all day. Nobody notices whether I file 100 or 1000 papers in a day.) I have begun to realize that when I leave, nobody will do my job, it will just back up. So what's the difference if it starts to back up now or in a few weeks? I am getting really sick of the way things work there, and I am just ready to be done with the whole scene. I no longer want to spend 40 hours of my week in a jail-- a place that was designed to make you feel a disconnect from the outside world. I hate the way that place is having a negative effect on my attitudes. I still haven't told my boss when I plan on leaving. I haven't even told her officially that I am going... but I am pretty sure that somebody else probably has. I tried to keep this thing under wraps, but when so many people ask me on a regular basis, "When are you going back to Spain?", I just had to tell them. Slowly but surely, every milestone that I had once held in my head about when I'd share my news has come and gone: Getting accepted, getting the visa, buying the plane ticket, deciding when my last day will be. I have chosen my day, but I don't want to share it quite yet. As long as I give them 2 weeks, it'll be okay.
While these next few weeks might seem like torture for me, I am beginning to realize that the time has definitely come to move on in life. And every step forward makes me a little more excited and hopeful of what's to come.
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